Productive Parenting

In the early years of parenting, I was known to have said, "I hate parenting. I have no idea what I'm doing." Little did I know that my struggle with parenting was directly related to my struggle with myself. I had low self-esteem, a shallow walk with God, and a busy social life. Keeping up with the Jones' on social media was my vice.

Since refraining from social media and purposefully growing my walk with Jesus, parenting has become one of my favorite topics to study.

Through each phase of parenting I have learned many valuable truths. 

1. Parenting is a gift. Many face infertility or loss in the quest to become a parent. No matter how you become a parent, being entrusted with molding the next generation is a gift you were privileged to take part in. 

2. Parenting without God as the center of your own life is exhausting. Extremely exhausting. When you fall in love with Jesus and allow Him to fill all the holes in your life, you can pour yourself into your children without feeling overwhelming burnout. 

3. Parenting grows you. You won't always do things right. I've had to ask my kids to forgive me for handling situations the wrong way. I've had to restrain my initial feelings of pain or anger, and respond to situations with love and peace, because little eyes were watching me. Each time it becomes easier, and I've started to realize how much I've grown in God because of this truth.

4. Parenting is never ending. It doesn't pause when you're grocery shopping. It doesn't stop when you go out to eat. It doesn't end when you put the little kiddos to bed. It's ongoing and affects every aspect of your life.  

5. Parenting is easier when my love tank is full- and it is filled by God time. Spending time alone with God and allowing myself to dump all my frustrations and fears lifts my heavy load. Refocusing on how He sees me and not how I see myself helps me to remember my true value. God doesn't focus on our failures and faults, He sees our beauty and potential. 

6. Parenting can be successful and emotional. When I became a parent, I started reading about parenting and studying the Word about how God wants us to train our children. ...then I started to think of all the things my parents did or didn't do. I've found that forgiving my parents for where they were lacking, and loving them for what they did do, made it easier to move on emotionally. I use those short-comings to strengthen my relationship with my own children. And it is easier to appreciate my parents' effort after I forgiving them. They did the best they could, so I will use their best and build on it.

7. Parenting is rewarding. No matter how many struggles you face, the joyous moments outweigh the chaos. Of course in the middle of the chaos, it is difficult to remember this. Write down the happy moments. List the things your children do that bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart. Then when things are rough, read those reminders of joy.

Disclaimer: I am no parenting expert, and I am still learning myself. I only published these tips to remind myself of these lessons and to hopefully encourage someone else.

A Special Letter

Dear Mom,

You have experienced some happy highs in motherhood, and you have also experienced some sad lows. There are days you feel like things are under control, and days you feel like your world is chaotic. There is something you need to remember- you are perfect. No, you are not perfect according to the world’s definition of perfect, but you are perfect in My eyes. Perfect, meaning complete; lacking nothing. As My Word says in James 1:2-4:

“...count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have it’s perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

All these things you go through as a mother are only growing your faith. Each sad low, each chaotic day, each tearful moment draws you closer to Me. Those various trials have produced perfection in My sight, even though you don’t feel it sometimes. When I look at you, I don’t see chaos. I don’t see disappointment or sadness. I don’t see a failure or a victim. I see beauty. I see you as perfect. You are abiding in Me, and in Me, you are complete, lacking nothing. So remember this and rest in Me. Don’t let this broken world or those heavy trials make you feel less than perfect. 

I love you, and I am with you always.

You Are Always On My Mind,

Jesus

MLK Day

Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream. He dreamed that all people would get along and love one another. 

....but this wasn’t really his dream. This was God’s vision and purpose for humanity. This is God’s command for those who want to live with Him forever. 

As Christians, we are commanded to love one another to be saved. It’s quite terrifying in today’s world that we are even more near to the end, and yet, people who call themselves Christians find it impossible to show love and respect to one another! 

1 Peter 4:7-9 warns us that the end is near and “above all things have fervent charity <love> among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging.”  

Jesus Himself teaches, “a new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” John 13:34-35

Not only did He say for us to love one another, but He told us how we should love one another... “as I have loved you.” That’s a lot of love! He loves us no matter what we look like. He loves us despite our mistakes and shortcomings. He loves us through our anger and frustration. He loves us constantly. 

Then He says why we should love one another in this way... “by this shall all men know that ye are my disciples.” If we fail to love the way we are commanded, others will not be able to see Jesus in us. 

What a huge responsibility as a Christian! If we are truly disciples of Christ, we will love others no matter what. We will show them the true essence of our Savior— Love.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was not a dreamer. He was a Christian. A true Christian. What an amazing legacy and challenge his life leaves behind for us Christians to follow! Are we up to the challenge? Let’s forgive and love today. No one is promised tomorrow. And without forgiveness and love, we will not see Christ. According to Hebrews 12:14, our salvation depends on obeying this command.

Snow is the Right Color

After a beautiful snowfall, Katelyn (my 7 year old) and I walked across the street to visit a neighbor. Katelyn observed the sun reflecting off the thick blanket of white snow and said, “mommy, snow is so pretty. God picked the right color. It wouldn’t be as pretty if it was pink or red or green. I really like it white. It’s so bright and beautiful.” 

I just smiled at her thoughts. She is so right. God chose the perfect color to reflect Who He is. The brightness of a fresh blanket of snow is such a vivid reminder of the purity of God. It’s also a welcome reminder of His power to make us white as snow. 

Although it is freezing cold and the kids are home from school driving you crazy, try to focus on the glory of our God- His purity and righteousness and His power to cleanse us from sin. 

Let’s use this winter storm as an object lesson for our children. All ages of children need to be reminded of God’s amazing qualities. 

Thanksgiving Thinking

Thanksgiving- the day we should be thankful, yet we are consumed with Black Friday shopping and getting more. 

Today I am going to intentionally focus on what I have and not what I want or need. 

We have so much to be thankful for. 

In this great country, we can be so easily distracted by successful marketing and overpowering social media. Before we know it, our thoughts are fixed on things. 

No, life isn’t perfect. Adversity is always lurking. But with God, we can refocus our thoughts and peace will take over. We can have peace in adversity, when we stay focused on Him by giving Him thanks according to His Word:

“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 

I Thessalonians 5:18

“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.”  

Colossians 3:15

“By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name.”

Hebrews 13:15

As we approach this holiday and the new year, let’s make a strong effort to verbally and emotionally acknowledge God’s gifts. Speak of the goodness of God. When someone wants to bring up negativity, turn the conversation to God’s blessings. When we feel low and weary, think thoughts of praise and thanksgiving unto the Creator of life. 

Here’s a little Thanksgiving challenge: write out a list of your blessings. Do not include things money can buy, but you can include people. Focus on this list throughout the holiday season. Know that you have God and you are blessed.

Find Rest

The human body is an amazing creation. What I've been thinking about lately isn't very profound, but as moms, it can easily be forgotten: the importance of sleep. 

When the body is sleep deprived, it malfunctions. Lack of alertness, impaired memory, moodiness, and even premature wrinkling and dark circles can occur! There is something to be said for "beauty sleep!" 

When the body is sleeping, the brain is rejuvenated, tissues and organs heal, inflammation is decreased, and memory improves. Studies show that regular quality sleep can even lower blood pressure, help you lose weight, improve your mood, and improve your relationships! 

Not to mention, to have dreams, you must be sleeping. God often spoke to people in the Bible through dreams. And remember, God Himself took a day of rest. In the busyness of life, don't overlook such a crucial command: rest. 

Taking care of ourselves allows us to be the best mother that we can be. It allows us to be more focused on God and less focused on, well, less focused. 

It's so hard to focus at all when you're exhausted. 

As I said, not profound, but still a good reminder. Know that sleep is not only good for the natural man. It is good for the spirit, too. Just as Psalm 23 tells us, "He maketh me lie down in green pastures, He leadeth me beside the still waters, He restoreth my soul." When we rest, we will be restored. 

So don't push yourself beyond the limit. Rest. Allow God to restore your soul.

Oh, but don't oversleep...Proverbs 20:13 warns us you will be poor, if you sleep too much! haha 

As they say, "everything in moderation." (:

You Are Perfect (Just As You Are)

Over the last few weeks, I've been listening to one of my children complain about self image. "I'm too chunky...I'm so clumsy...I'm not very smart." Each time I respond with compliments trying to disprove these negative thoughts. The other day I become a little frustrated with those comments.  It seemed my words were ineffective. With lots of emotion I expressed, "don't you hear me? I see you as strong, smart, kind, wonderful, caring, loving. I see you as perfect-- just the way you are. I love you very much just the way you are." All I got was a little nod. 

"I love you very much just the way you are."

How do we convince our children that the standards of the world are not the measurements for success and beauty? How do we overcome the lies the enemy? How do we combat superficial, fake culture? While seeking for those answers, I felt a nudge in my spirit about how God sees us. He sees us struggle with self worth, and He hears us speak down about ourselves. He knows our thoughts about feeling insecure. 

All the while He is right there saying, "don't you hear me? I see you as perfect! I love you very much just the way you are!" Yes, we have failed. Yes, we have fallen. Yes, we have shortcomings and wounds. But to your Heavenly Father, you are a beautiful, perfect mother. Allow yourself to rejoice in the victories and celebrate the blessings. Don't let the negative thoughts sneak in to beat you down. 

"I love you very much just the way you are."

I think the answer to the questions I asked earlier is this: live in the Light. We must let our children see that we are confident and content in way God created us. We are sure of His grace and mercy. They will be convinced they are beautiful and cherished as they see us as mothers live and walk with the assurance that God loves us just the way we are. 

I Peter 2:9 says, "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light"

Next time you are tempted to think negatively about yourself, think of how you love and cherish your own children just the way they are, because that's how God sees you!

"Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee." Song of Solomon 4:7

Like a Flower In the Rain

If you pick a flower from a plant, it doesn't take much force to pluck the petals from the stem, yet during a torrential storm, the petals take the beating from the pelting rain without falling apart. Droplets fall thousands of feet from the clouds above mixed with wind and air pressure attacking the earth with an almost immeasurable force which can even feel somewhat stinging to bare human skin. So the observation how beautiful flowers tolerate such pressure is intriguing. 

I'm not a gardener, so my interest in a beaten-up, post-storm flowerbed led to some research. Here's what I found:

"Heavy rain damage on plants may leave them looking like they’ve been flattened to within an inch of their lives, but if you take a closer look at stems and branches, you’ll notice something amazing — most of those rain damaged parts are bent, not broken. Your plants may look terrible, but their flexibility saved them from a monstrous rain storm. If instead they remained rigid in the face of such an intense beating, their tissues would have broken or cracked, causing important transportation pathways to be severed. 

A few days to a week after a damaging storm, your plants will perk back up. Sometimes flowers are damaged and leaves slightly torn, but your plants will replace these injured areas much faster than seems possible if you leave them alone to do it. Don’t try to prop plants that are rain-flattened, since this can lead to additional damage. Let them be and watch them come back from their beating." (www.gardeningknowhow.com) 

Watching a harsh summer rain pound down on a beautiful, delicate bed of colorful flowers can really serve as a powerful reminder for us: 

We might get knocked down, but we will recover. We might be bent, but we are not broken. 

Even though our situation "may look terrible," being flexible, or moldable in the the Potter's hands, will allow us to withstand the pressure of the storm. If we are rigid, or bitter, we could become quite broken in a storm, hindering our growth in God. 

As a mother, we will watch our children go through storms. Often we want to jump in and save them from the beating, but sometimes that's not what God intends. We must allow God's process to take place. 

And even though our children may be damaged and slightly torn from the storms of life, if we trust the Creator and leave them in God's hands, they will heal and come back from that beating! We don't have to worry if they are broken beyond repair. We don't have to prop them up and fix their situation. 

"I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing." Ezekiel 34:26

Let the natural rain, and the beauty it brings remind you that storms bring forth blessing! 

The rain will come, we just have to trust God's design for growth in our lives. Like a flower in the rain. 

Keep Reading Your Story

Each chapter of a nonfiction book reveals new ideas and thoughts. Each chapter of a fiction book unfolds a story. 

Many people have begun a book only to find that it was not what they expected, so they tossed it aside, never finishing the exploration of the author's intent. 

Oh, how our lives are a book! Each one of us have a unique story unfolding. There are new characters introduced here and there. Previous characters can sometimes fade away. The setting changes from day to day and can vary from a new room in the same house to a new country across the world! 

The plot of our lives is so unpredictable. Our plot could range from tragedy to comedy or include a quest of some kind. Conflict and resolution are woven throughout our lives with some instances being dramatic and others being minuscule. No matter how our story goes, we are all written with love. The Author of our book is none other than the Creator of the world. Jesus Christ is walking with us through each step of our plot, through every twist, to bring us to the expected ending. 

No matter how our story goes, we are all written with love. 

One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11,

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Jesus is in your story right now, and He is at the end of your story cheering for you. The current chapter of your life may be dark and overwhelming, but He promises to never leave us (Matthew 28:20). The current chapter of your life may be scary and turbulent, but He is the God of peace (Philippians 4:7). 

Jesus is at the end of your story cheering for you!

Maybe the characters in your current chapter are not producing positivity in your life. Keep reading your story. Maybe your current chapter includes a complex plot twist. Keep reading your story. Maybe you feel like tragedy is the main theme. Keep reading your story. This current chapter won't last forever. New characters will come into view bringing joy and love. New plot twists will arise with excitement and enjoyment. Don't allow your mind to stay fixated on the current chapter. Keep reading! Too often we feel like the current circumstances are the final circumstances, but this is not so! Your story is still being written with love. This chapter will end and the next chapter will bring hope. What you are facing is only a chapter of your life, not your whole story! Hold on to the hand of Jesus as your keep exploring what He is writing for you. He will never let you down. 

What you are facing is only a chapter of your life, not your whole story!

Keep reading your story!

Slam The Door

As Christians, Jesus calls us to serve Him with our whole hearts. Actually- with our whole lives.

Deut 6:5 says, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."

This means serving Him in all that we do. Every action we make, every thought we think, every word we say should be pushing us towards Him. We must purposefully chase after Him. Every aspect of our lives should potentiate our relationship with Him.

In studying the sin of Eve, it is clear to see that she was deceived (I Tim 2:14). She was placed in a perfect world, yet she still fell into deception. She was given so many wonderful things to take advantage of, yet she chose to hang around the one tree she shouldn't have been near. Maybe she thought she was strong enough to handle the temptation of that tree. Maybe she felt like it was not a big deal because she had God's commands in her mind and heart.

Whatever the case, we find ourselves in this same situation daily. We decide what we are going to look at, where we are going to go, and who we are going to be around. Often we convince ourselves that we can be exposed to certain things or situations without it being an issue, because we have the power of the Holy Spirit inside of us. Some temptations seem so harmless. That's the trick of the enemy. Allowing ourselves little open doors to temptations gives the enemy a chance to move in on us.

Some temptations seem so harmless. 

For Eve, the Serpent found her hanging around that forbidden tree and walked through that door to deceive her. She left open the door of temptation by being where she shouldn't have been. In our lives, if we're not careful, we can be found in the same situation. We leave open what seems to be a harmless door of temptation. We can feel sorry for a hurting coworker who is going through a rough time in a relationship, opening the door to our own emotions, potentially leading to sexual sin. We can find ourselves spending more time on the computer or smart phone tracking other people's lives, neglecting our own families causing stress in the home. We can allow our eyes to view photos of people of things that seem harmless when in reality they are drawing our thoughts towards distracting emotions.

The temptation is often not a sin. It was not wrong of Eve to be near that forbidden fruit. But why leave the door to temptation open when it can potentially lead to sin? The flesh cannot be trusted. No matter how much Holy Ghost you have in your life, you still have flesh. No matter how much time you spend with the Lord, you must still be vigilant about protecting your relationship with God. In protecting your relationship with God, you are also protecting your relationship with your family and church body. Completely avoiding temptation protects your blessings. When Eve ate the fruit, she lost all her blessings of that perfect garden. 

Avoiding temptation protects your blessings. 

The Apostle Paul was fully aware the enemy still uses deception to draw saints away. To the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 11:3, he warned:

"But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ." 

Closing this door can seem strange or difficult. It may seem strange to others that you refuse to go out alone for lunch with a coworker of the opposite gender. It may be difficult to release a friendship that could potentially damage your marriage. Or, it may seem like a small, insignificant door, like releasing social media or some other form of entertainment. However, not closing the door can be fatal. No matter how much of a struggle it is to close a door to temptation, it is a much greater struggle to deal with the repercussions of sin. James 1:14-18 reminds us that temptations leads to sin, which results in death.

Not closing the door can be fatal. 

With living for God wholeheartedly, we must be intentional. Every thing we do, say, hear, see, and think has be controlled. We have to allow the flesh to suffer. We must let the Spirit to take over. Being lead by the Spirit is a beautiful thing when we see His blessings, but let us not forget that the blessings have come because of obedience to His Word. Avoiding temptation is most certainly a trend in His Word. Because the temptation isn't always obvious, we can not be too careful.

I Thessalonians 5:22 command us, "Abstain from every form of evil."

So I would suggest to you that you close any doors to temptations that are lingering in your life. Actually, why don't you just slam the door? Don't convince yourself that you are a superhero and temptations that affect others won't affect you. As it says in Matthew 26:41, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Eve never saw that Serpent coming. Be wise in your investments and intentional in building the life God has blessed you with. Slamming the door to temptation is "making no provision for the flesh," as we are commanded to do in Romans 13:14. You are protecting your soul, your eternity, your family.  You are protecting your blessings.


Slam the door! 

A New Thing This Spring

It's spring! The freshly fallen snow does not discourage my excitement about a new season. It's pureness reminds me of a new beginning. Spring represents newness of life. Spring always brings growth and warmth. The environmental seasons we experience are an ever present reminder of the spiritual seasons we go through.

Spring always brings growth and warmth.

When the new season arrives, we are often glad to see the previous season go. It's the same in the spirit. We are commanded to actually forget that last season. Let go of the past. We should press on in this new season in great anticipation of what God is going to do next. He promises to do a new thing.

Let go of the past. 

"Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

So we must forget what has happened in the past. Don't allow your mind to dwell on history. Don't focus your thoughts on what has been in your life. It's easy to get hung up thinking about how things have always been and what things you've longed for in the past. If you want this new thing, you must let go of the past! Don't even consider the things of old, or you might miss this new thing! "Shall ye not know it?" You won't know it, if you are stuck in your old ways. How tragic it would be to miss the new thing God has for you!

Jesus said in Luke 9:62,

"No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

Jesus calls us to be His completely. He wants us to be all in! Jump into His kingdom and don't look back. Look forward unto the new path He has called you to walk. When we continue in our same path, same habits, same patterns, we are "looking back." We are missing what is right in front of us.

Look forward unto the new path He has called you to walk.

When we stop looking back, God said that He would even do miracles- He will make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. He will bring to pass things that seemed impossible before.

If you want this new thing from God, if you want to see Him bring greatness into your life this season, focus on what is to come! Look ahead. Be excited and anticipate this new thing to come forth speedily! God said that it shall "spring forth!" As soon as we let go of the past, He will make a way and rivers will of blessings will flow!

If you have trouble with the changes God is demanding, remember this:

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10

He is your God, and He will give you help and strength! He will not let you down, and what He has for you is greater than you can imagine! He's been waiting for you all along to chase after Him.

Oh, what excitement there is for a "new thing" this spring! 


Thank you to Shawna for the encouragement this week. 

I Will Sing

Often in trials, I've tried to remind myself of what God has already done. It's uplifting and encouraging. However, recently I felt God change my focus. Instead of focusing on what He's already done, in an effort to reassure myself that He can take care of my current trial, I felt Him whisper, "focus on Who I am." Wow. Who God is. His qualities.

Obviously, His qualities are manifested in what He has done, but what if we focus on just those qualities? He is all powerful (I Chronicles 29:11). He is never changing (Hebrews 13:8). He is a Promise Keeper (II Peter 3:9). He is Powerful (Psalm 147:5). He is the Comforter (John 14:26). He is a Healer (Jeremiah 30:17). He is a Guide (Psalm 48:14). He is a Provider (Genesis 22:13-14). He is a Protector (II Thessalonians 3:3). He is Love (1 John 4:8). He is... it never ends! The list never ends! You won't run out of things to focus on in your trial!

So here I am focusing on the qualities of God and refusing to die. I will sing. I've shared the song below because it is so encouraging to me. Even if you can't physically sing very well, you can allow your heart to "sing" by maintaining a spirit of praise in your trial.

Be encouraged by His qualities, and ignore what you are lacking. Be encouraged by His power, and ignore your loss of control.

Read these lyrics, google the song. I love the line, "I will trust. I will remember." I will remember all His qualities. You can sing, too, because of His qualities.

I Will Sing 

by Kari Jobe

I need to see You here
I need to know You're in control
Though my heart is torn wide open
I will trust, I will remember

I need to hear Your voice
Speaking to silence all my doubts
Your word won't return empty
You will break through every darkness

Even when my breath is weak
I will sing, I will sing
Even in my suffering
I will sing, I will sing

I need to feel Your hope
Rising above my greatest fears
Even death has been defeated
I will trust, I will remember

Even when the shadows fall
I will sing, I will sing
Even when the night is long
I will sing, I will sing

Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won't be shaken

Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won't be shaken

I need to see You here
I need to know You're in control
Though my heart is torn wide open
I will trust, I will remember

Waiting Room Exit

This is a continuation of the Waiting Room blog. For this one to make sense, you have to read that other one first.

So here I sit in God's waiting room enjoying His love and peace. Then someone else in the waiting room wants to talk about the waiting. They say they are waiting on God, too, but after more conversation I find they aren't totally committed to waiting on God. Making their own plans and decisions still sounds somewhat enticing to them.

In a physical waiting room, there are usually two doors- the door you came in and the door that goes where you are waiting to be. When you enter a waiting room, the door you come through will sometimes say "exit" above it. You can always go back out the door you came in. You can always escape the waiting room. It's the same in God's waiting room. He doesn't lock the door behind you. He's allows us to have free will. He lets us decide what we want to do with our lives. He gives us His Word, written and spoken to our hearts, as a guide, but it's up to us to decide what to do with it.

You can always escape the waiting room.

There I found myself in God's waiting room talking to someone who seems exhausted from waiting. Weary. Then the thought comes up, "what if we exit the waiting room the way we came in?" You know, go back out and look for another way to change things. Maybe use our human minds to do some more thinking and our own strength to do some more building? Sounds like a tempting idea. Maybe I missed something, and I'll see things differently out there in the world of running-my-own-life? My mind starts wandering. The waiting is so difficult some days. I momentarily forgot the truth. The truth that when I was in control, life was chaos. When I was in control, I was often gasping for air and searching for hope. On the other side of that exit door, I was a different person. I was a troubled, hurt person. The truth is that I had started to take for granted the hope, love, and calmness I found in the waiting room. The waiting room had actually become a welcome respite once I realized the treasures inside. God restored my hope in the waiting room. God offers peace in the waiting room. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him (Lamentations 3:25). Yet, there I sat in the waiting room, allowing my mind to wander about giving up and going back out that door. There was no peace when I was trying to figure things out on my own. There was no peace when I was desperate for deliverance from turmoil. There was no peace when I was making my own decisions.

God offers peace in the waiting room. 

Why would I give that up now? It's a little scary to think that there is always the option of going back out the door you came into the waiting room. It's not locked. You don't have to wait on God. If you get frustrated with your wait and wonder how much longer, refocus your mind on what you were delivered from (Philippians 4:8). Refocus your thoughts on the peace you have found in God. Don't let the enemy try to convince you that there is anything enticing on the other side of that exit door. Everything you left behind when you decided to wait on God is what is out there. Everything ungodly and everything disastrous. Pain, heartache, loneliness, fear, and desperation- that's what's on the other side of that waiting room exit door. There is no peace in the world of running-your-own-life. Fill your mind with thanks for all that you are sheltered from in God's waiting room. You don't have to understand what God is doing, just believe that He keeps His promises. He is still working. When He calls you out of the waiting room, all things will be perfect and complete. He makes all things new. It will be worth the wait, the commitment of staying focused on His promises.

You don't have to understand what God is doing, just believe that He keeps His promises.

The coolest thing about waiting on God is that He waits with us. When I felt a little confused and my mind wandered to considering the exit door, I talked to Him about it. I asked Him to help me stay put. I reminded Him that my heart wants Him and His will more than anything. He wrapped His arms around me and poured more love in my heart. He is here. In the waiting. He's never going to call us out of that mess we were in and then forget us.

He is here. In the waiting. 

So, stay in God's waiting room! Don't let anything or anyone convince you that the door you came in is the door you want to go out of! Wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14) Let God finish what He is doing and bring His promises to pass in your life. God has not forgotten us. He knows right where we are because He put us there!

And for the person who wanted to talk about using that exit door, thankfully they were convinced that it wasn't a good idea. And they decided to keep waiting on God, too. (: Encourage others in the waiting room. Don't let them give up on God, either!

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

Distractions

Distractions. I felt the Lord whisper this one word to me a few years ago. Distractions. "Ok, I got it," I thought as I scribbled "distractions" in my prayer journal and went on my merry way. I had no idea how complex and heavy these distractions would be in my life over the next few years. Sometimes I immediately recognized the situation as a distraction, and other times, I fell apart and returned to God in frustration only to hear His reminder, "distractions." Ughhh, I fell for a distraction! 

What is a distraction?

dis·trac·tion

dəˈstrakSH(ə)n/

noun

1. 1.

   a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else.

 Any thing (action, person, situation) that prevents me from giving my full attention to Jesus is a distraction. Any thing. It doesn't have to be a "bad" thing. Any thing that takes my focus off of Jesus and consumes my time and attention is a distraction. So when I find myself frustrated by a situation, I remind myself that I am becoming distracted. 

Hebrews 12:1-2 says,

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I love these verses. Here's my interpretation: While running this race of faith, we must get rid of distractions along with getting rid of sin, staying focused on Jesus, the One Who will get us through and is cheering us on!

Distractions are the weights that set us back. Of course we should avoid sin, but we should also avoid any other thing that takes our eyes off Jesus. I think the Author used "looking unto Jesus" because whatever we have our eyes on is what we are moving towards. If we keep our eyes on Jesus, we will be going the right direction and be able to avoid set-backs. 

Most of us have heard it said, "keep your eyes on Jesus." But how do you do that? By keeping your thoughts on Jesus. Read His Word. Meditate on His Word. Prayer should be first in the morning. Prayer should be in your heart throughout the day. If your mind drifts, your eyes drift. Refocus your mind and you'll be back on track. Jesus never changes. He never leaves us. We sometimes drift from Him, but He will always be there. A steady, guiding Light for us to focus on. Keeping your eyes on Jesus means not allowing oneself to spend excessive amounts of time or energy on something that isn't bringing us closer to Him. 

There is also a secondary definition of the word "distraction:"  

     2. extreme agitation of the mind or emotions.

Agitation means troubled, nervous, or perplexed. When our minds are agitated, we are distracted. When our emotions are agitated, we are distracted. Being troubled, perplexed, and anxious are signs that we are allowing distractions to take our mind and eyes off Jesus. 

Isaiah 26:3 says,

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

So there you have it; keep your mind on Him, dump distractions, and you will have perfect peace. No agitation. 

When life seems overwhelming and confusing, seek out what the distraction is and get rid of it! There is nothing like His peace! 

Many times over the last few years, I found myself struggling with less than positive emotions and realized I had let a distraction sneak in. My mind and energy was focused more on a distraction, things of this world, than it was on things above (Col 3:2).

God is so patient with us. If we get distracted, He's always waiting for us to refocus on Him. He's always there to pour His love on us and bring us peace that passes all understanding (Phil 4:7). We don't have to understand our situation to have His peace. We just have to stay focused and ignore those distractions! 

Focus, Baby, Focus! (:

Not Really Lost

Recently I got stuck in traffic because of an accident that closed down the highway. I looked up an alternate route on the GPS and exited onto a back road. It appeared that everyone else had the same idea. Being new to the area, I decided to trust the GPS and stay on this route. The GPS said I was 3.8 miles from the school, which is where I was headed to pick up my kids, but I felt like I was crawling there with no idea where I was. 

Nothing looked familiar. 

I called a neighbor to get the kids for me, because I have horrible childhood memories of being the last one picked up from school. Thankfully she was free and agreed to help, which immediately relieved my stress. As soon as I hung up, the GPS had me make a right turn, and I suddenly recognized the back entrance to my neighborhood where the school is the located! I almost cried. Not because of the situation, but because of the spiritual application that immediately saturated my thoughts. I’m going through a lot right now. Ok, I’ve been going through “a lot” for about 4 years now. And recently I’ve been feeling like God put me in a test, this trial, and forgot where I was. Spiritually, I felt like I did physically.

Nothing in my life looks familiar.

I’ve been asking, well begging, for a breakthrough, something to show me that He wasn’t done with me. The exhaustion of the roller coaster emotions and juggling the daily tasks with additional stressful elements involved have been weighing so heavily lately. It’s been feeling like I’m going nowhere with this whole trial. What is happening in my life? Where is my life going? In that moment, the moment I trusted the GPS and made the right turn, I felt God showing me, with a physical illustration, that He knows right where I am and my trial is almost over. I’m much closer to the end than the beginning. It will all be over suddenly when He is ready to lead me to that point of the journey. Life doesn't look familiar to me, but it looks familiar to Him. Nothing is foreign to God. No situation, no circumstance, no issue- He knows what He is doing in the midst of it all. Nothing is hidden from Him, according to Hebrews 4:13.

Nothing is foreign to God.

Once again overwhelmed with emotion, I gave it all back to Him. As the tears flowed down my face, I surrendered all the struggles, all the fears, all the pain, all the exhaustion, again. I can trust that He knows right where I am, even though I don’t know where I am.

We must not allow ourselves to be blinded by what is right in front of us. We must remember how far we have come and persist in seeking out His will for our situation.  According to google, “A GPS or Global Positioning System is a network of orbiting satellites that send precise details of their position in space back to earth. The signals are obtained by GPS receivers, such as navigation devices and are used to calculate the exact position, speed and time at the vehicles location.” On our journey, we must seek out His signals, the Maker of the Globe. He is the Ultimate GPS! If we don’t obtain His signals and allow Him to guide us, it is so easy to get lost and feel abandoned or hopeless.

Allow His signals to lead you in whatever you are facing. Deuteronomy 4:29 tells us, “seek the Lord and you will find Him.” Psalm 34:10 says, “those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” Seek Him and when He sends you a signal, be an open receiver of His love and direction! 

The Waiting Room

The quiet anticipation of my dental cleaning was tense. Other patients surrounded me with unenthusiastic facial expressions as they stared at their phones, most likely scrolling social media or emails. The dental cleaning isn't really that bad. I'm most overwhelmed by the subjection of lying posterior for the invasive exam wondering if additional dental work will be needed, which would mean more time, money, and pain.

The waiting room can be a daunting place.

However, in the past, I have truly enjoyed a waiting room. My sister booked massages and facials for a few friends and myself to celebrate her birthday with her. We had to wait for each appointment. Now, that waiting room was totally different! We were given plush, demure bath robes and shown to a fancy room with comfortable sofas, dim lighting, soft music and light refreshments. We laughed together as we patiently awaited our turn to be pampered. We knew what we were waiting for would be worth it. 

The waiting room can be full of pleasant anticipation. 

Sometimes God puts us in a "waiting" room. If we don't have a good line of communication with Him, we will feel like we are waiting for a dental appointment. We will be anxious and fearful. We will be dreading the outcome or impatient to see God move on our behalf. But, if we know Him and are familiar with His Word, both written and spoken to our hearts, the waiting room can be full of pleasant anticipation. His Word says in Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) says, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  God's plans for our lives are definitely worth waiting for!

If we truly trust Him, while in His waiting room, we will feel pampered and nourished, basking in the peace that He gave to us (John 14:27). He will cover us in a plush robe of righteous as He states in Isaiah 61:10. And what about the light refreshments? How about overwhelming refreshment?! "I will refresh the weary," He promised in Jeremiah 31:25 (NIV). He will restore our souls (Psalm 23:3). Now the calm music that plays in God's waiting room is on us. We are to sing His praise at all times (Psalm 146:2, Hebrews 13:15). Singing His praises lays the ground work for our miracle! (Acts 16:25-26)

Knowing that He has amazing plans for us allows us to enjoy His waiting room. We can laugh and be joyful with other saints in the same waiting room in pleasant anticipation of our upcoming appointment with the Master. Don't let your heart and mind become overwhelmed with erroneous ideas about "waiting" on God. His waiting room can be full of pleasant anticipation! 

Wounded Warrior

When you feel like the source of your pain is a wound by a leader, what do you do? How do you process that?

Trucking along, doing your thing, and then somehow you fall into some drama. Sometimes it's self-induced. Sometimes not. Sometimes it's exacerbated by others. Sometimes it's even exacerbated by a leader. Wow, does that hurt or what?

At first, you might feel like avoiding them. You might want to run, hide, and lick your wounds. Then you might start thinking about the details and feeling like you were targeted and intentionally injured. You might share your pain with others in an effort to feel sympathy or justification for the way you were treated.

But here's the way I see it:

1. Leaders are human. No matter how much training, education, and experience a person has, they will make mistakes. They will sin. That's the nature of humanity. That's why we ALL need a Savior. Romans 3:23 says we ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God. And, despite what some people think, no matter how "spiritual" you are, you will still make mistakes. A strong, wise leader, hungry for growth, will recognize the wrong and attempt to make it right- these people are treasures!

2. You're not the only person who has been hurt by a leader. If you want to "build a case" against a leader, there will always be a group of supporters who have let an injury or offense fester and become bitterness. Those people are always willing to gather more supporters of their negativity. It's harder to rise above the voices of the negative people, but it's so worth it- the peace and joy that comes when you avoid feeding into the drama is essential to your own healing.

3. Don't take it personally. Most likely the entire situation, including parts that you cannot see, involved issues that were rooted long before you came on the scene. When a person is involved in something that hurts, it's difficult to see the big picture. Leaders are influenced by previous experiences and external sources. It's very possible that what happened was fueled by false information and/or has nothing to do with you personally. When feeling like a victim, take into consideration how the situation could have been exaggerated by hidden influences. It takes a very mature person to do this- it's easier to pout and focus on yourself.

4. One day you could be on other side of the situation. You could be learning this lesson because one day you will need to handle a similar situation differently from a leadership perspective. You will clearly remember how a leaders words and actions truly affect others. You will have empathy for a hurting soul. You will be better prepared to apologize and make things right because you can understand the long term effects of ignoring the hurts of others.

Leaders aren't born overnight. They go through a lot to get to where they are. Some are given power and aren't well prepared and must learn by their mistakes. Some make many mistakes before they are given a leadership role. Either way, as a follower, if you learn how to handle your painful interactions with leaders, you will grow and flourish. You will be stronger and more valuable to others and the kingdom of God.

We might not ever truly understand why we were hurt. The offense may not ever make sense. We might not ever know all the details of the other side of the situation. Often with time, bits and pieces will surface, but only God knows the whole truth. Waiting for understanding could be detrimental to your healing. It could allow seeds of bitterness to grow and eventually drive a wedge between you and God.

So, how do you handle your pain induced by a leader and probably someone you love and respect? You have to give them grace and forgive them- even before they ask forgiveness, knowing they might never ask for forgiveness. The Word says we cannot be forgiven if we don't forgive.

It will take some time. It's a process that involves lots of prayer and fasting. The length of the process is up to you. How willing are you to let it go? How anxious are you to see what God has next for you? How badly do you want to feel relieved of your burden? Surrender your pain to Him and let Him grow you from this experience. He can make something painful into something beautiful!

Listener or Lord?

So often we pride ourselves in the fact that we pray about everything.

We take our needs to God. He listens. Then we walk away and try to fix it ourselves. Or just keep thinking about how impossible our needs appear. If it was meant for you to figure it out, the solution would be your solution, and not Divine. It would exalt you, instead of bringing Him the glory.

Sure, we love God. He's our Savior. Our Deliver. He's our Healer, Redeemer, and Provider. And He's always such a great Listener...

But is He our Lord?

The definition of lord is, "a master or ruler, someone having power, authority, and influence."

It's easy to let Him deliver us, save us, provide for us, and heal us. We even work hard to serve Him and do many things for Him. ...but are we letting Him be the Lord of our lives?

When we make decisions without consulting Him, and waiting for Him to show us the way, we are ruling our lives. Lots of people will let Him listen to their concerns, but don't trust Him enough to wait on His response and do what He leads them to do.

Allowing others to influence our decisions above what God would want for us, is allowing them to be lord. It's easy for people to throw out advice, but you can not know exactly what God wants for you until you truly seek Him for yourself.

Giving your circumstances the authority to rule your mood, your emotions, your decisions is declining God's proposal to provide peace, love, and joy through every situation.

Recently a friend asked me, "how can my Christian friends be so rude and so down? How can they be saved and not be loving or joyful?"

Oh, that's easy! They love God, but they are not letting God be the Lord of their lives. They are rude because they are treating others the way they think they deserve to be treated, not allowing Jesus to be Lord and treating them the way He taught us. They are so down because they are disappointed in their failures and circumstances, not allowing Jesus to be Lord and trusting something beautiful is in the works.

How do I know this? I was that person. I have always loved God with all my heart, but there was a time in my life when I let Him be everything to me except Lord. He was my Great Listener. I told Him all about my issues with deep details, and He listened. Every single time. However, I'd get up from my prayers and go try to run my life. Repeatedly.

During this time I found that I was unhappy, rude, selfish, moody, and frustrated. I was that good Christian girl who would firmly tell the waitress why the food was not to my liking. I was that good Christian girl who would explain loudly why I felt like I was done wrong. Maybe I was right. Maybe the food was not what I ordered or the clerk rang up my items multiple times. But since allowing Jesus to be Lord of my life, I try to treat others with kindness. Always.

Maybe that waitress can't concentrate because she hasn't had time for a break during her 12 hour shift and her blood sugar is low. Maybe the clerk is exhausted from staying up all night with her sick baby. Instead of looking out for me, I try to think about others now.

I have a long way to go, and sometimes have to actually bite my tongue, but I have found this: When you upgrade Jesus from Listener to Lord, He upgrades your whole world.

The sadness, rudeness, selfishness, moodiness, and frustration disappear. It's easier to see things in a loving manner.

Oh, and don't kid yourself if He is Lord of most of your life...He must be Lord of all or you are not truly letting Him be Lord. There is no half way with this. If He only has authority over your finances, but not your tongue, He does not truly have authority.

Here's what I think...when He is Lord of all, the pressure's off. Your deeds or words or thoughts are no longer dictated by yourself, others, or circumstances- which will all fail you. When Jesus is Lord of your life, each moment is trusted to Him. If something happens that isn't pleasant, you don't feel like you caused it; you see it as a learning opportunity. What was God trying to teach me? What was I supposed to say to that waitress or clerk to encourage them?

Of course my life is not perfect, but it's better than it was. Each day is a gift and some aren't even given that. Each trial is growing me. Some are dying instead of growing.

I'd love to say that it's easy to let Jesus be the Lord of your life, but this is not the case. Letting go and letting God reign on a moment to moment basis, is the hardest thing I've ever done. However, it has brought me more peace and joy than I could express in a blog...that is why I felt like I should share all this with you.

So I challenge you to try it: Let God go from Listener to Lord and watch Him change your life!

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Such a great verse, but read it carefully..."saith the Lord"...If He's not your Lord, He's not speaking to you! Let Him be Lord and claim His Word!

Serving the Silent Savior

The other day I got an email devotion that was profound.

God shows us things, leads us a certain way, maybe gives us an answer, but then we don't see or feel or know anything else. Feels like He went silent.

The devotion I read talked about how all through the Bible God did this to great people. He anointed David to be king long before it was time. Job knew he was blessed of the Lord, then God went silent. And there are numerous other examples.

The point is, when God calls you to do something, shows you something, or tells you something, you have to trust Him on the timing. Don't give up and think that He has changed His mind or forgotten about you.

The enemy wants you to think that you didn't hear Him right or you should try to make things work a different way. Oh! Think about Sarah and Abraham! God gave them a promise of a baby and then went silent, so she decided to try to make it happen her way. She paid for that for many years to come.

In the silence there are things going on that you cannot see. God was working things out in the kingdom that David would rule. God was showing the devil that Job was dedicated, wholeheartedly. You have no idea what God is doing that you cannot see!

While God is silent in one area of your life, He is working in other areas. Think on those things. Actually think about each and every blessing and previously answered prayer. Don't let your mind wander to what you cannot see. Keep your eyes fixed on Him and His glory, His power, His righteousness.

No matter what you can or cannot see, He is still your Savior and will bring you through. He will do what He has said. He does not lie or change His mind.

Hold on. Keep serving the silent Savior, and you will be singing a new song when His will is complete in you!

Focus, Baby, Focus

God is so good. It doesn't really matter where you are or where you've been, if you look at what you have overcome, whether great or small, you will see the goodness of God.

The enemy wants us to focus on the now, what we are missing, what is not happening. That keeps us from worshiping with great faith for what is to come. Worship is to give God glory for what we cannot see.

You may not be able to see your need being met, your prayer being answered, but if you just remind yourself of all the answered prayers, all the needs He's already met, your faith for your current miracle will build. Then you can worship Him for it, even though you can't see it.

We want to think that it's something we must do make it  come to pass, but it's not. It's His mercy, it's His grace, it's His goodness that will bring it to pass. All He wants us to do is ask and believe. Then He gets all the glory.

His Word is so clear about trusting Him. He knew it wouldn't make sense to us, that's why the Word says "lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5).

So this week, walk with Him in trust and great faith. Make a list of His provisions on your life. Don't take even the small things for granted, for it is by His grace that you have anything at all, including a home, health, a sound mind, clothing, family, friends.

When my 7 year old is doing his homework and keeps get distracted by the things he'd rather be doing, I say, "focus, baby, focus! Then you can do other things." He always smiles, redirects his thoughts, and tries to finish.

You do the same thing! Focus, baby, focus! Focus on what He has done and worship Him for what He is doing and watch your mountain be moved! In Jesus' Name!