Productive Parenting

In the early years of parenting, I was known to have said, "I hate parenting. I have no idea what I'm doing." Little did I know that my struggle with parenting was directly related to my struggle with myself. I had low self-esteem, a shallow walk with God, and a busy social life. Keeping up with the Jones' on social media was my vice.

Since refraining from social media and purposefully growing my walk with Jesus, parenting has become one of my favorite topics to study.

Through each phase of parenting I have learned many valuable truths. 

1. Parenting is a gift. Many face infertility or loss in the quest to become a parent. No matter how you become a parent, being entrusted with molding the next generation is a gift you were privileged to take part in. 

2. Parenting without God as the center of your own life is exhausting. Extremely exhausting. When you fall in love with Jesus and allow Him to fill all the holes in your life, you can pour yourself into your children without feeling overwhelming burnout. 

3. Parenting grows you. You won't always do things right. I've had to ask my kids to forgive me for handling situations the wrong way. I've had to restrain my initial feelings of pain or anger, and respond to situations with love and peace, because little eyes were watching me. Each time it becomes easier, and I've started to realize how much I've grown in God because of this truth.

4. Parenting is never ending. It doesn't pause when you're grocery shopping. It doesn't stop when you go out to eat. It doesn't end when you put the little kiddos to bed. It's ongoing and affects every aspect of your life.  

5. Parenting is easier when my love tank is full- and it is filled by God time. Spending time alone with God and allowing myself to dump all my frustrations and fears lifts my heavy load. Refocusing on how He sees me and not how I see myself helps me to remember my true value. God doesn't focus on our failures and faults, He sees our beauty and potential. 

6. Parenting can be successful and emotional. When I became a parent, I started reading about parenting and studying the Word about how God wants us to train our children. ...then I started to think of all the things my parents did or didn't do. I've found that forgiving my parents for where they were lacking, and loving them for what they did do, made it easier to move on emotionally. I use those short-comings to strengthen my relationship with my own children. And it is easier to appreciate my parents' effort after I forgiving them. They did the best they could, so I will use their best and build on it.

7. Parenting is rewarding. No matter how many struggles you face, the joyous moments outweigh the chaos. Of course in the middle of the chaos, it is difficult to remember this. Write down the happy moments. List the things your children do that bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart. Then when things are rough, read those reminders of joy.

Disclaimer: I am no parenting expert, and I am still learning myself. I only published these tips to remind myself of these lessons and to hopefully encourage someone else.