Productive Parenting

In the early years of parenting, I was known to have said, "I hate parenting. I have no idea what I'm doing." Little did I know that my struggle with parenting was directly related to my struggle with myself. I had low self-esteem, a shallow walk with God, and a busy social life. Keeping up with the Jones' on social media was my vice.

Since refraining from social media and purposefully growing my walk with Jesus, parenting has become one of my favorite topics to study.

Through each phase of parenting I have learned many valuable truths. 

1. Parenting is a gift. Many face infertility or loss in the quest to become a parent. No matter how you become a parent, being entrusted with molding the next generation is a gift you were privileged to take part in. 

2. Parenting without God as the center of your own life is exhausting. Extremely exhausting. When you fall in love with Jesus and allow Him to fill all the holes in your life, you can pour yourself into your children without feeling overwhelming burnout. 

3. Parenting grows you. You won't always do things right. I've had to ask my kids to forgive me for handling situations the wrong way. I've had to restrain my initial feelings of pain or anger, and respond to situations with love and peace, because little eyes were watching me. Each time it becomes easier, and I've started to realize how much I've grown in God because of this truth.

4. Parenting is never ending. It doesn't pause when you're grocery shopping. It doesn't stop when you go out to eat. It doesn't end when you put the little kiddos to bed. It's ongoing and affects every aspect of your life.  

5. Parenting is easier when my love tank is full- and it is filled by God time. Spending time alone with God and allowing myself to dump all my frustrations and fears lifts my heavy load. Refocusing on how He sees me and not how I see myself helps me to remember my true value. God doesn't focus on our failures and faults, He sees our beauty and potential. 

6. Parenting can be successful and emotional. When I became a parent, I started reading about parenting and studying the Word about how God wants us to train our children. ...then I started to think of all the things my parents did or didn't do. I've found that forgiving my parents for where they were lacking, and loving them for what they did do, made it easier to move on emotionally. I use those short-comings to strengthen my relationship with my own children. And it is easier to appreciate my parents' effort after I forgiving them. They did the best they could, so I will use their best and build on it.

7. Parenting is rewarding. No matter how many struggles you face, the joyous moments outweigh the chaos. Of course in the middle of the chaos, it is difficult to remember this. Write down the happy moments. List the things your children do that bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart. Then when things are rough, read those reminders of joy.

Disclaimer: I am no parenting expert, and I am still learning myself. I only published these tips to remind myself of these lessons and to hopefully encourage someone else.

A Special Letter

Dear Mom,

You have experienced some happy highs in motherhood, and you have also experienced some sad lows. There are days you feel like things are under control, and days you feel like your world is chaotic. There is something you need to remember- you are perfect. No, you are not perfect according to the world’s definition of perfect, but you are perfect in My eyes. Perfect, meaning complete; lacking nothing. As My Word says in James 1:2-4:

“...count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have it’s perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

All these things you go through as a mother are only growing your faith. Each sad low, each chaotic day, each tearful moment draws you closer to Me. Those various trials have produced perfection in My sight, even though you don’t feel it sometimes. When I look at you, I don’t see chaos. I don’t see disappointment or sadness. I don’t see a failure or a victim. I see beauty. I see you as perfect. You are abiding in Me, and in Me, you are complete, lacking nothing. So remember this and rest in Me. Don’t let this broken world or those heavy trials make you feel less than perfect. 

I love you, and I am with you always.

You Are Always On My Mind,

Jesus

MLK Day

Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream. He dreamed that all people would get along and love one another. 

....but this wasn’t really his dream. This was God’s vision and purpose for humanity. This is God’s command for those who want to live with Him forever. 

As Christians, we are commanded to love one another to be saved. It’s quite terrifying in today’s world that we are even more near to the end, and yet, people who call themselves Christians find it impossible to show love and respect to one another! 

1 Peter 4:7-9 warns us that the end is near and “above all things have fervent charity <love> among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging.”  

Jesus Himself teaches, “a new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” John 13:34-35

Not only did He say for us to love one another, but He told us how we should love one another... “as I have loved you.” That’s a lot of love! He loves us no matter what we look like. He loves us despite our mistakes and shortcomings. He loves us through our anger and frustration. He loves us constantly. 

Then He says why we should love one another in this way... “by this shall all men know that ye are my disciples.” If we fail to love the way we are commanded, others will not be able to see Jesus in us. 

What a huge responsibility as a Christian! If we are truly disciples of Christ, we will love others no matter what. We will show them the true essence of our Savior— Love.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was not a dreamer. He was a Christian. A true Christian. What an amazing legacy and challenge his life leaves behind for us Christians to follow! Are we up to the challenge? Let’s forgive and love today. No one is promised tomorrow. And without forgiveness and love, we will not see Christ. According to Hebrews 12:14, our salvation depends on obeying this command.

Snow is the Right Color

After a beautiful snowfall, Katelyn (my 7 year old) and I walked across the street to visit a neighbor. Katelyn observed the sun reflecting off the thick blanket of white snow and said, “mommy, snow is so pretty. God picked the right color. It wouldn’t be as pretty if it was pink or red or green. I really like it white. It’s so bright and beautiful.” 

I just smiled at her thoughts. She is so right. God chose the perfect color to reflect Who He is. The brightness of a fresh blanket of snow is such a vivid reminder of the purity of God. It’s also a welcome reminder of His power to make us white as snow. 

Although it is freezing cold and the kids are home from school driving you crazy, try to focus on the glory of our God- His purity and righteousness and His power to cleanse us from sin. 

Let’s use this winter storm as an object lesson for our children. All ages of children need to be reminded of God’s amazing qualities.