I was reading my first blog today and remembering how I felt when I typed it. This part I did not totally reveal at that time, but you have to know this to understand the rest of this blog.
When I typed that first blog, I felt like I was giving God control out of default. I had lost control and had no idea how to regain it. Giving Him control, trusting Him, was all that I could do. Trust Him or die. I felt like I was jumping off a cliff and free-falling, knowing He was going to catch me, but totally terrified of the fall. When would He catch me, and why was He letting me fall at all? It was like I threw my mess at Him and said, "here fix this junk." I hated giving it up, but there was nothing else I could do. Hated the trusting, the letting go, and the anxiety, but I did it anyway.
From then until now, I've been seeking Him. Everyone does it differently, so I just started seeking Him with every ounce of my being, the best way I knew how. And I mean, desperately seeking Him. He has truly revealed Himself to me. This is how I know...when I read that first blog again today, the way I felt when I typed it flooded my mind. BUT, that is NOT at all how I feel now!!!!
In that first blog, I talked about how I was driving with Jesus in the passenger seat and lost control. I talked about how I'm letting Him drive, I have no idea where I'm going, and I'm learning to trust Him. I really did not expound how terrifying it was for me, or how much I was struggling with letting it all go.
Now, though, now I feel like I'm on a romantic rendezvous with the Lover of my soul! Oh, I'm still in the car, letting Jesus drive and have no idea where I'm going, but now I feel like I'm riding in the front seat with a blind fold on and I'm so excited and giggly because my Prince is driving! He is taking me to that special place that I've always wanted to go to, but didn't know how to get there.
He's not telling me the details, or how long it will take, but He knows me so well that He knows what I like and want! I know when He gets me there, and takes the blind fold off, it will be better than I can imagine!
I know this is true because His Word tells me each of those things:
Psalm 37:5 says to commit your way to the Lord, trust Him and He will act-- I gave Him the keys, so He is driving. He is leading me to a new place in Him.
Romans 5:8 He loves me-- He wants to make my dreams come true; He knows what I need and want.
1 John 4:18 His perfect love has cast out all my fear-- His perfect love removed my fear and replaced it with contentment and excitement.
Psalm 139:1-2 He knows my thoughts-- If He knows my thoughts, He knows me well!! He knows where I need to be and what needs to happen for me to get to that place in Him.
Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart-- I am truly excited/delighted in Him, He will fulfill His promises!
Eph 3:20 He is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think--- Where He is taking me will be better than I can imagine!
I'm not full of fear and anxieties anymore. Just as 1 John 4:18 says, His perfect love has driven out all my fear! I'm not frustrated with the lack of control. I'm not driven to my knees out of desperation. I'm full of peace and excitement. I'm full of joy and contentment. I'm driven to my knees to spend quality time with the Lover of my soul. I'm driven to my knees to be held in His arms and pour my love out in worship.
Philippians 4:7 says the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ. Isaiah 9:6 calls Jesus the Prince of Peace.
My Prince of Peace, my Valentine, has shown me perfect love to remove my fear and given me peace beyond my understanding of my situation. His peace is guarding, shielding, protecting my heart and mind!
With his peace, He is protecting my heart from pain and bitterness. He is protecting my mind from doubt and negativity.
Amazing love and peace from the perfect Valentine, the Prince of Peace, is the best Valentine's gift I've ever received!
Oh! The best part: He wants to be YOUR Prince of Peace, too! He wants to hold you in His arms and show you what it feels like to love without fear of getting hurt. He wants to show you what it feels like to rest in His peace although your situation is beyond your understanding.
When you have the Prince of Peace as your Valentine, it is by far a HAPPY Valentine's Day! (:
Lose control, so He can have control, that's good!
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