A New Thing This Spring

It's spring! The freshly fallen snow does not discourage my excitement about a new season. It's pureness reminds me of a new beginning. Spring represents newness of life. Spring always brings growth and warmth. The environmental seasons we experience are an ever present reminder of the spiritual seasons we go through.

Spring always brings growth and warmth.

When the new season arrives, we are often glad to see the previous season go. It's the same in the spirit. We are commanded to actually forget that last season. Let go of the past. We should press on in this new season in great anticipation of what God is going to do next. He promises to do a new thing.

Let go of the past. 

"Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19

So we must forget what has happened in the past. Don't allow your mind to dwell on history. Don't focus your thoughts on what has been in your life. It's easy to get hung up thinking about how things have always been and what things you've longed for in the past. If you want this new thing, you must let go of the past! Don't even consider the things of old, or you might miss this new thing! "Shall ye not know it?" You won't know it, if you are stuck in your old ways. How tragic it would be to miss the new thing God has for you!

Jesus said in Luke 9:62,

"No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God."

Jesus calls us to be His completely. He wants us to be all in! Jump into His kingdom and don't look back. Look forward unto the new path He has called you to walk. When we continue in our same path, same habits, same patterns, we are "looking back." We are missing what is right in front of us.

Look forward unto the new path He has called you to walk.

When we stop looking back, God said that He would even do miracles- He will make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. He will bring to pass things that seemed impossible before.

If you want this new thing from God, if you want to see Him bring greatness into your life this season, focus on what is to come! Look ahead. Be excited and anticipate this new thing to come forth speedily! God said that it shall "spring forth!" As soon as we let go of the past, He will make a way and rivers will of blessings will flow!

If you have trouble with the changes God is demanding, remember this:

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41:10

He is your God, and He will give you help and strength! He will not let you down, and what He has for you is greater than you can imagine! He's been waiting for you all along to chase after Him.

Oh, what excitement there is for a "new thing" this spring! 


Thank you to Shawna for the encouragement this week. 

I Will Sing

Often in trials, I've tried to remind myself of what God has already done. It's uplifting and encouraging. However, recently I felt God change my focus. Instead of focusing on what He's already done, in an effort to reassure myself that He can take care of my current trial, I felt Him whisper, "focus on Who I am." Wow. Who God is. His qualities.

Obviously, His qualities are manifested in what He has done, but what if we focus on just those qualities? He is all powerful (I Chronicles 29:11). He is never changing (Hebrews 13:8). He is a Promise Keeper (II Peter 3:9). He is Powerful (Psalm 147:5). He is the Comforter (John 14:26). He is a Healer (Jeremiah 30:17). He is a Guide (Psalm 48:14). He is a Provider (Genesis 22:13-14). He is a Protector (II Thessalonians 3:3). He is Love (1 John 4:8). He is... it never ends! The list never ends! You won't run out of things to focus on in your trial!

So here I am focusing on the qualities of God and refusing to die. I will sing. I've shared the song below because it is so encouraging to me. Even if you can't physically sing very well, you can allow your heart to "sing" by maintaining a spirit of praise in your trial.

Be encouraged by His qualities, and ignore what you are lacking. Be encouraged by His power, and ignore your loss of control.

Read these lyrics, google the song. I love the line, "I will trust. I will remember." I will remember all His qualities. You can sing, too, because of His qualities.

I Will Sing 

by Kari Jobe

I need to see You here
I need to know You're in control
Though my heart is torn wide open
I will trust, I will remember

I need to hear Your voice
Speaking to silence all my doubts
Your word won't return empty
You will break through every darkness

Even when my breath is weak
I will sing, I will sing
Even in my suffering
I will sing, I will sing

I need to feel Your hope
Rising above my greatest fears
Even death has been defeated
I will trust, I will remember

Even when the shadows fall
I will sing, I will sing
Even when the night is long
I will sing, I will sing

Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won't be shaken

Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won't be shaken

I need to see You here
I need to know You're in control
Though my heart is torn wide open
I will trust, I will remember

Waiting Room Exit

This is a continuation of the Waiting Room blog. For this one to make sense, you have to read that other one first.

So here I sit in God's waiting room enjoying His love and peace. Then someone else in the waiting room wants to talk about the waiting. They say they are waiting on God, too, but after more conversation I find they aren't totally committed to waiting on God. Making their own plans and decisions still sounds somewhat enticing to them.

In a physical waiting room, there are usually two doors- the door you came in and the door that goes where you are waiting to be. When you enter a waiting room, the door you come through will sometimes say "exit" above it. You can always go back out the door you came in. You can always escape the waiting room. It's the same in God's waiting room. He doesn't lock the door behind you. He's allows us to have free will. He lets us decide what we want to do with our lives. He gives us His Word, written and spoken to our hearts, as a guide, but it's up to us to decide what to do with it.

You can always escape the waiting room.

There I found myself in God's waiting room talking to someone who seems exhausted from waiting. Weary. Then the thought comes up, "what if we exit the waiting room the way we came in?" You know, go back out and look for another way to change things. Maybe use our human minds to do some more thinking and our own strength to do some more building? Sounds like a tempting idea. Maybe I missed something, and I'll see things differently out there in the world of running-my-own-life? My mind starts wandering. The waiting is so difficult some days. I momentarily forgot the truth. The truth that when I was in control, life was chaos. When I was in control, I was often gasping for air and searching for hope. On the other side of that exit door, I was a different person. I was a troubled, hurt person. The truth is that I had started to take for granted the hope, love, and calmness I found in the waiting room. The waiting room had actually become a welcome respite once I realized the treasures inside. God restored my hope in the waiting room. God offers peace in the waiting room. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him (Lamentations 3:25). Yet, there I sat in the waiting room, allowing my mind to wander about giving up and going back out that door. There was no peace when I was trying to figure things out on my own. There was no peace when I was desperate for deliverance from turmoil. There was no peace when I was making my own decisions.

God offers peace in the waiting room. 

Why would I give that up now? It's a little scary to think that there is always the option of going back out the door you came into the waiting room. It's not locked. You don't have to wait on God. If you get frustrated with your wait and wonder how much longer, refocus your mind on what you were delivered from (Philippians 4:8). Refocus your thoughts on the peace you have found in God. Don't let the enemy try to convince you that there is anything enticing on the other side of that exit door. Everything you left behind when you decided to wait on God is what is out there. Everything ungodly and everything disastrous. Pain, heartache, loneliness, fear, and desperation- that's what's on the other side of that waiting room exit door. There is no peace in the world of running-your-own-life. Fill your mind with thanks for all that you are sheltered from in God's waiting room. You don't have to understand what God is doing, just believe that He keeps His promises. He is still working. When He calls you out of the waiting room, all things will be perfect and complete. He makes all things new. It will be worth the wait, the commitment of staying focused on His promises.

You don't have to understand what God is doing, just believe that He keeps His promises.

The coolest thing about waiting on God is that He waits with us. When I felt a little confused and my mind wandered to considering the exit door, I talked to Him about it. I asked Him to help me stay put. I reminded Him that my heart wants Him and His will more than anything. He wrapped His arms around me and poured more love in my heart. He is here. In the waiting. He's never going to call us out of that mess we were in and then forget us.

He is here. In the waiting. 

So, stay in God's waiting room! Don't let anything or anyone convince you that the door you came in is the door you want to go out of! Wait for the Lord! (Psalm 27:14) Let God finish what He is doing and bring His promises to pass in your life. God has not forgotten us. He knows right where we are because He put us there!

And for the person who wanted to talk about using that exit door, thankfully they were convinced that it wasn't a good idea. And they decided to keep waiting on God, too. (: Encourage others in the waiting room. Don't let them give up on God, either!

Micah 7:7 But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.

Distractions

Distractions. I felt the Lord whisper this one word to me a few years ago. Distractions. "Ok, I got it," I thought as I scribbled "distractions" in my prayer journal and went on my merry way. I had no idea how complex and heavy these distractions would be in my life over the next few years. Sometimes I immediately recognized the situation as a distraction, and other times, I fell apart and returned to God in frustration only to hear His reminder, "distractions." Ughhh, I fell for a distraction! 

What is a distraction?

dis·trac·tion

dəˈstrakSH(ə)n/

noun

1. 1.

   a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else.

 Any thing (action, person, situation) that prevents me from giving my full attention to Jesus is a distraction. Any thing. It doesn't have to be a "bad" thing. Any thing that takes my focus off of Jesus and consumes my time and attention is a distraction. So when I find myself frustrated by a situation, I remind myself that I am becoming distracted. 

Hebrews 12:1-2 says,

1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I love these verses. Here's my interpretation: While running this race of faith, we must get rid of distractions along with getting rid of sin, staying focused on Jesus, the One Who will get us through and is cheering us on!

Distractions are the weights that set us back. Of course we should avoid sin, but we should also avoid any other thing that takes our eyes off Jesus. I think the Author used "looking unto Jesus" because whatever we have our eyes on is what we are moving towards. If we keep our eyes on Jesus, we will be going the right direction and be able to avoid set-backs. 

Most of us have heard it said, "keep your eyes on Jesus." But how do you do that? By keeping your thoughts on Jesus. Read His Word. Meditate on His Word. Prayer should be first in the morning. Prayer should be in your heart throughout the day. If your mind drifts, your eyes drift. Refocus your mind and you'll be back on track. Jesus never changes. He never leaves us. We sometimes drift from Him, but He will always be there. A steady, guiding Light for us to focus on. Keeping your eyes on Jesus means not allowing oneself to spend excessive amounts of time or energy on something that isn't bringing us closer to Him. 

There is also a secondary definition of the word "distraction:"  

     2. extreme agitation of the mind or emotions.

Agitation means troubled, nervous, or perplexed. When our minds are agitated, we are distracted. When our emotions are agitated, we are distracted. Being troubled, perplexed, and anxious are signs that we are allowing distractions to take our mind and eyes off Jesus. 

Isaiah 26:3 says,

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

So there you have it; keep your mind on Him, dump distractions, and you will have perfect peace. No agitation. 

When life seems overwhelming and confusing, seek out what the distraction is and get rid of it! There is nothing like His peace! 

Many times over the last few years, I found myself struggling with less than positive emotions and realized I had let a distraction sneak in. My mind and energy was focused more on a distraction, things of this world, than it was on things above (Col 3:2).

God is so patient with us. If we get distracted, He's always waiting for us to refocus on Him. He's always there to pour His love on us and bring us peace that passes all understanding (Phil 4:7). We don't have to understand our situation to have His peace. We just have to stay focused and ignore those distractions! 

Focus, Baby, Focus! (:

Not Really Lost

Recently I got stuck in traffic because of an accident that closed down the highway. I looked up an alternate route on the GPS and exited onto a back road. It appeared that everyone else had the same idea. Being new to the area, I decided to trust the GPS and stay on this route. The GPS said I was 3.8 miles from the school, which is where I was headed to pick up my kids, but I felt like I was crawling there with no idea where I was. 

Nothing looked familiar. 

I called a neighbor to get the kids for me, because I have horrible childhood memories of being the last one picked up from school. Thankfully she was free and agreed to help, which immediately relieved my stress. As soon as I hung up, the GPS had me make a right turn, and I suddenly recognized the back entrance to my neighborhood where the school is the located! I almost cried. Not because of the situation, but because of the spiritual application that immediately saturated my thoughts. I’m going through a lot right now. Ok, I’ve been going through “a lot” for about 4 years now. And recently I’ve been feeling like God put me in a test, this trial, and forgot where I was. Spiritually, I felt like I did physically.

Nothing in my life looks familiar.

I’ve been asking, well begging, for a breakthrough, something to show me that He wasn’t done with me. The exhaustion of the roller coaster emotions and juggling the daily tasks with additional stressful elements involved have been weighing so heavily lately. It’s been feeling like I’m going nowhere with this whole trial. What is happening in my life? Where is my life going? In that moment, the moment I trusted the GPS and made the right turn, I felt God showing me, with a physical illustration, that He knows right where I am and my trial is almost over. I’m much closer to the end than the beginning. It will all be over suddenly when He is ready to lead me to that point of the journey. Life doesn't look familiar to me, but it looks familiar to Him. Nothing is foreign to God. No situation, no circumstance, no issue- He knows what He is doing in the midst of it all. Nothing is hidden from Him, according to Hebrews 4:13.

Nothing is foreign to God.

Once again overwhelmed with emotion, I gave it all back to Him. As the tears flowed down my face, I surrendered all the struggles, all the fears, all the pain, all the exhaustion, again. I can trust that He knows right where I am, even though I don’t know where I am.

We must not allow ourselves to be blinded by what is right in front of us. We must remember how far we have come and persist in seeking out His will for our situation.  According to google, “A GPS or Global Positioning System is a network of orbiting satellites that send precise details of their position in space back to earth. The signals are obtained by GPS receivers, such as navigation devices and are used to calculate the exact position, speed and time at the vehicles location.” On our journey, we must seek out His signals, the Maker of the Globe. He is the Ultimate GPS! If we don’t obtain His signals and allow Him to guide us, it is so easy to get lost and feel abandoned or hopeless.

Allow His signals to lead you in whatever you are facing. Deuteronomy 4:29 tells us, “seek the Lord and you will find Him.” Psalm 34:10 says, “those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” Seek Him and when He sends you a signal, be an open receiver of His love and direction! 

The Waiting Room

The quiet anticipation of my dental cleaning was tense. Other patients surrounded me with unenthusiastic facial expressions as they stared at their phones, most likely scrolling social media or emails. The dental cleaning isn't really that bad. I'm most overwhelmed by the subjection of lying posterior for the invasive exam wondering if additional dental work will be needed, which would mean more time, money, and pain.

The waiting room can be a daunting place.

However, in the past, I have truly enjoyed a waiting room. My sister booked massages and facials for a few friends and myself to celebrate her birthday with her. We had to wait for each appointment. Now, that waiting room was totally different! We were given plush, demure bath robes and shown to a fancy room with comfortable sofas, dim lighting, soft music and light refreshments. We laughed together as we patiently awaited our turn to be pampered. We knew what we were waiting for would be worth it. 

The waiting room can be full of pleasant anticipation. 

Sometimes God puts us in a "waiting" room. If we don't have a good line of communication with Him, we will feel like we are waiting for a dental appointment. We will be anxious and fearful. We will be dreading the outcome or impatient to see God move on our behalf. But, if we know Him and are familiar with His Word, both written and spoken to our hearts, the waiting room can be full of pleasant anticipation. His Word says in Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) says, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  God's plans for our lives are definitely worth waiting for!

If we truly trust Him, while in His waiting room, we will feel pampered and nourished, basking in the peace that He gave to us (John 14:27). He will cover us in a plush robe of righteous as He states in Isaiah 61:10. And what about the light refreshments? How about overwhelming refreshment?! "I will refresh the weary," He promised in Jeremiah 31:25 (NIV). He will restore our souls (Psalm 23:3). Now the calm music that plays in God's waiting room is on us. We are to sing His praise at all times (Psalm 146:2, Hebrews 13:15). Singing His praises lays the ground work for our miracle! (Acts 16:25-26)

Knowing that He has amazing plans for us allows us to enjoy His waiting room. We can laugh and be joyful with other saints in the same waiting room in pleasant anticipation of our upcoming appointment with the Master. Don't let your heart and mind become overwhelmed with erroneous ideas about "waiting" on God. His waiting room can be full of pleasant anticipation! 

Wounded Warrior

When you feel like the source of your pain is a wound by a leader, what do you do? How do you process that?

Trucking along, doing your thing, and then somehow you fall into some drama. Sometimes it's self-induced. Sometimes not. Sometimes it's exacerbated by others. Sometimes it's even exacerbated by a leader. Wow, does that hurt or what?

At first, you might feel like avoiding them. You might want to run, hide, and lick your wounds. Then you might start thinking about the details and feeling like you were targeted and intentionally injured. You might share your pain with others in an effort to feel sympathy or justification for the way you were treated.

But here's the way I see it:

1. Leaders are human. No matter how much training, education, and experience a person has, they will make mistakes. They will sin. That's the nature of humanity. That's why we ALL need a Savior. Romans 3:23 says we ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God. And, despite what some people think, no matter how "spiritual" you are, you will still make mistakes. A strong, wise leader, hungry for growth, will recognize the wrong and attempt to make it right- these people are treasures!

2. You're not the only person who has been hurt by a leader. If you want to "build a case" against a leader, there will always be a group of supporters who have let an injury or offense fester and become bitterness. Those people are always willing to gather more supporters of their negativity. It's harder to rise above the voices of the negative people, but it's so worth it- the peace and joy that comes when you avoid feeding into the drama is essential to your own healing.

3. Don't take it personally. Most likely the entire situation, including parts that you cannot see, involved issues that were rooted long before you came on the scene. When a person is involved in something that hurts, it's difficult to see the big picture. Leaders are influenced by previous experiences and external sources. It's very possible that what happened was fueled by false information and/or has nothing to do with you personally. When feeling like a victim, take into consideration how the situation could have been exaggerated by hidden influences. It takes a very mature person to do this- it's easier to pout and focus on yourself.

4. One day you could be on other side of the situation. You could be learning this lesson because one day you will need to handle a similar situation differently from a leadership perspective. You will clearly remember how a leaders words and actions truly affect others. You will have empathy for a hurting soul. You will be better prepared to apologize and make things right because you can understand the long term effects of ignoring the hurts of others.

Leaders aren't born overnight. They go through a lot to get to where they are. Some are given power and aren't well prepared and must learn by their mistakes. Some make many mistakes before they are given a leadership role. Either way, as a follower, if you learn how to handle your painful interactions with leaders, you will grow and flourish. You will be stronger and more valuable to others and the kingdom of God.

We might not ever truly understand why we were hurt. The offense may not ever make sense. We might not ever know all the details of the other side of the situation. Often with time, bits and pieces will surface, but only God knows the whole truth. Waiting for understanding could be detrimental to your healing. It could allow seeds of bitterness to grow and eventually drive a wedge between you and God.

So, how do you handle your pain induced by a leader and probably someone you love and respect? You have to give them grace and forgive them- even before they ask forgiveness, knowing they might never ask for forgiveness. The Word says we cannot be forgiven if we don't forgive.

It will take some time. It's a process that involves lots of prayer and fasting. The length of the process is up to you. How willing are you to let it go? How anxious are you to see what God has next for you? How badly do you want to feel relieved of your burden? Surrender your pain to Him and let Him grow you from this experience. He can make something painful into something beautiful!

Listener or Lord?

So often we pride ourselves in the fact that we pray about everything.

We take our needs to God. He listens. Then we walk away and try to fix it ourselves. Or just keep thinking about how impossible our needs appear. If it was meant for you to figure it out, the solution would be your solution, and not Divine. It would exalt you, instead of bringing Him the glory.

Sure, we love God. He's our Savior. Our Deliver. He's our Healer, Redeemer, and Provider. And He's always such a great Listener...

But is He our Lord?

The definition of lord is, "a master or ruler, someone having power, authority, and influence."

It's easy to let Him deliver us, save us, provide for us, and heal us. We even work hard to serve Him and do many things for Him. ...but are we letting Him be the Lord of our lives?

When we make decisions without consulting Him, and waiting for Him to show us the way, we are ruling our lives. Lots of people will let Him listen to their concerns, but don't trust Him enough to wait on His response and do what He leads them to do.

Allowing others to influence our decisions above what God would want for us, is allowing them to be lord. It's easy for people to throw out advice, but you can not know exactly what God wants for you until you truly seek Him for yourself.

Giving your circumstances the authority to rule your mood, your emotions, your decisions is declining God's proposal to provide peace, love, and joy through every situation.

Recently a friend asked me, "how can my Christian friends be so rude and so down? How can they be saved and not be loving or joyful?"

Oh, that's easy! They love God, but they are not letting God be the Lord of their lives. They are rude because they are treating others the way they think they deserve to be treated, not allowing Jesus to be Lord and treating them the way He taught us. They are so down because they are disappointed in their failures and circumstances, not allowing Jesus to be Lord and trusting something beautiful is in the works.

How do I know this? I was that person. I have always loved God with all my heart, but there was a time in my life when I let Him be everything to me except Lord. He was my Great Listener. I told Him all about my issues with deep details, and He listened. Every single time. However, I'd get up from my prayers and go try to run my life. Repeatedly.

During this time I found that I was unhappy, rude, selfish, moody, and frustrated. I was that good Christian girl who would firmly tell the waitress why the food was not to my liking. I was that good Christian girl who would explain loudly why I felt like I was done wrong. Maybe I was right. Maybe the food was not what I ordered or the clerk rang up my items multiple times. But since allowing Jesus to be Lord of my life, I try to treat others with kindness. Always.

Maybe that waitress can't concentrate because she hasn't had time for a break during her 12 hour shift and her blood sugar is low. Maybe the clerk is exhausted from staying up all night with her sick baby. Instead of looking out for me, I try to think about others now.

I have a long way to go, and sometimes have to actually bite my tongue, but I have found this: When you upgrade Jesus from Listener to Lord, He upgrades your whole world.

The sadness, rudeness, selfishness, moodiness, and frustration disappear. It's easier to see things in a loving manner.

Oh, and don't kid yourself if He is Lord of most of your life...He must be Lord of all or you are not truly letting Him be Lord. There is no half way with this. If He only has authority over your finances, but not your tongue, He does not truly have authority.

Here's what I think...when He is Lord of all, the pressure's off. Your deeds or words or thoughts are no longer dictated by yourself, others, or circumstances- which will all fail you. When Jesus is Lord of your life, each moment is trusted to Him. If something happens that isn't pleasant, you don't feel like you caused it; you see it as a learning opportunity. What was God trying to teach me? What was I supposed to say to that waitress or clerk to encourage them?

Of course my life is not perfect, but it's better than it was. Each day is a gift and some aren't even given that. Each trial is growing me. Some are dying instead of growing.

I'd love to say that it's easy to let Jesus be the Lord of your life, but this is not the case. Letting go and letting God reign on a moment to moment basis, is the hardest thing I've ever done. However, it has brought me more peace and joy than I could express in a blog...that is why I felt like I should share all this with you.

So I challenge you to try it: Let God go from Listener to Lord and watch Him change your life!

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

Such a great verse, but read it carefully..."saith the Lord"...If He's not your Lord, He's not speaking to you! Let Him be Lord and claim His Word!

Serving the Silent Savior

The other day I got an email devotion that was profound.

God shows us things, leads us a certain way, maybe gives us an answer, but then we don't see or feel or know anything else. Feels like He went silent.

The devotion I read talked about how all through the Bible God did this to great people. He anointed David to be king long before it was time. Job knew he was blessed of the Lord, then God went silent. And there are numerous other examples.

The point is, when God calls you to do something, shows you something, or tells you something, you have to trust Him on the timing. Don't give up and think that He has changed His mind or forgotten about you.

The enemy wants you to think that you didn't hear Him right or you should try to make things work a different way. Oh! Think about Sarah and Abraham! God gave them a promise of a baby and then went silent, so she decided to try to make it happen her way. She paid for that for many years to come.

In the silence there are things going on that you cannot see. God was working things out in the kingdom that David would rule. God was showing the devil that Job was dedicated, wholeheartedly. You have no idea what God is doing that you cannot see!

While God is silent in one area of your life, He is working in other areas. Think on those things. Actually think about each and every blessing and previously answered prayer. Don't let your mind wander to what you cannot see. Keep your eyes fixed on Him and His glory, His power, His righteousness.

No matter what you can or cannot see, He is still your Savior and will bring you through. He will do what He has said. He does not lie or change His mind.

Hold on. Keep serving the silent Savior, and you will be singing a new song when His will is complete in you!

Focus, Baby, Focus

God is so good. It doesn't really matter where you are or where you've been, if you look at what you have overcome, whether great or small, you will see the goodness of God.

The enemy wants us to focus on the now, what we are missing, what is not happening. That keeps us from worshiping with great faith for what is to come. Worship is to give God glory for what we cannot see.

You may not be able to see your need being met, your prayer being answered, but if you just remind yourself of all the answered prayers, all the needs He's already met, your faith for your current miracle will build. Then you can worship Him for it, even though you can't see it.

We want to think that it's something we must do make it  come to pass, but it's not. It's His mercy, it's His grace, it's His goodness that will bring it to pass. All He wants us to do is ask and believe. Then He gets all the glory.

His Word is so clear about trusting Him. He knew it wouldn't make sense to us, that's why the Word says "lean not on your own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5).

So this week, walk with Him in trust and great faith. Make a list of His provisions on your life. Don't take even the small things for granted, for it is by His grace that you have anything at all, including a home, health, a sound mind, clothing, family, friends.

When my 7 year old is doing his homework and keeps get distracted by the things he'd rather be doing, I say, "focus, baby, focus! Then you can do other things." He always smiles, redirects his thoughts, and tries to finish.

You do the same thing! Focus, baby, focus! Focus on what He has done and worship Him for what He is doing and watch your mountain be moved! In Jesus' Name!

Falling in Love

As a young girl, you develop "crushes" on boys. Yep. With this crush, you find out everything you can about that boy. You want to know what his favorite color is, what he likes to eat, where he likes to go, what his hobbies are... and so on ... you get the picture.

Eventually, you find yourself liking things he likes, and wanting to be where he is, just so you can see him and hope he notices you. When you don't get noticed, you end up crushed.

Then you grow up and date. You find out what your guy likes and how to make him like you. When it doesn't work out the way you want, you feel crushed.

Finally, you get married. You learn what your husband needs, how to make him happy, and how to show him love. You learn what to say and what not to say. You completely invest in this relationship, because it will last until death. You give it all you got. And still sometimes end up crushed.

Then there's Jesus. He's over there waiting on you to invest all you've got in Him. That's the relationship that will last forever. That one should be the priority. We get so wrapped up in trying to perfect our physical relationships, that we neglect the eternal spiritual one.

When you fall in love with Jesus, and I mean truly, deeply, more than any crush you've ever had, you want to know more about Him. You can't read His Word enough. You can't talk to Him enough. You want to hear His voice. You want to share your fears and your joys with Him.

When you fall in love with Jesus, when you realize that HE is the One you will spend forever with, you want to know what makes Him happy. You want to know what makes Him proud. You study His ways, and learn His laws with great excitement. He's your Crush. Then you get excited about what you find, and you want others to feel Him and know Him.

I used to think "witnessing" was a job, a task that you do in God's Kingdom. But, the deal is, if you know Him, if you are really in love with Jesus, it's like telling everyone about your best friend. Things like, "God is so good to me," roll off your tongue with actual meaning.

When you are deeply in love with Jesus, things of this world actually fade while you focus on Him. Nothing is as important as spending time with your Crush. I'm not sure why I always thought Jesus was so Powerful and Almighty that I couldn't get to Him. I'm not sure why I thought I had to respect Him in a reverent "just look, don't touch" sort of way, but I'm so glad that I figured out He's not like that.

He waits for me with open arms when my heart is breaking. He holds me with His love when my mind is overwhelmed. He listens when I pour out my darkest secrets and offers His mercy when I've done wrong. He doesn't judge and condemn. He loves and forgives. Every single time.

I don't talk to Him with some well organized theological prayer rhetoric. I talk to Him like I'm writing this blog...in my plain old words. I talk to Him like He's sitting next to me. Because I found out that when I talk to Him like this, He shows up. Always. He sits right down next to me and never gets tired of hearing my voice.

This Crush I have now is indescribable. Learning about Him is invigorating!

And I just figure, if I'm gonna spend eternity with this Crush, I want to know everything I can about Him!

I dare you to fall in love with Jesus. He won't ever crush your heart. ...He's just into crushing your fears for you. He's into crushing your pain. He's into crushing your enemy. He's into crushing your mental or physical illness. I'm not bragging, but I'm just saying, my Crush is pretty awesome. (:

Wilderness Wandering

The wilderness is a lonely place. The good thing about lonely is that you have nothing and no one to focus on, but the Lord. That's where He shows you His power.

For the children of Israel, Deuteronomy 8:2 says that the wilderness was, to "humble thee", and to "prove thee", and to "know what was in thine heart."

It is humbling to be alone. There is no one to validate your feelings, no one to listen to your pity party cries, no one to congratulate the little victories. It's humbling to stumble through your wilderness with people questioning your deliverance from Egypt. In the wilderness, you have to completely shut out the loud lies of the world and listen to the victorious voice of the Lord.

He will show you what is in your heart, not because He needs to know (He is God and He already knows!), but because He wants you to know so that you can rid yourself of ungodly things hiding deep within you.

This was the problem with the children of Israel: Idols. When they didn't get an immediate response from the Lord or they wanted to do things their way, they started worshiping idols.

Growing up reading that, I always thought, "this is so irrelevant to today. No one worships idols anymore." What an immature perspective! EVERYONE is worshiping idols! If you are not worshiping God and putting Him first, you are worshiping something else...that is your idol. You are not physically bowing down to your career or your work-out routine, but if you are not spending the first fruits of your time, energy, and finances on the One True God, then you are putting other gods before Him.

So you find yourself in this wilderness. Maybe you are dealing with depression. Maybe you are dealing with divorce. Maybe you are dealing with anger. Maybe you are dealing with the loss of a dear loved one. Maybe you have been hurt deeply by your spouse.

Whatever your wilderness is, there is only one way out. My pastor, Rev. Wayne Huntley, preached a powerful message about how to get out of the wilderness recently: According to Song of Solomon 8:5, the way out is to lean on the Beloved. Leaning of Jesus.

Here's the thing about leaning on Jesus. It's not easy. You have put aside the idols you are preoccupied with and focus completely on Him. It's easier to try to stay busy with other things occupying your mind, or focus on trying to figure things out. It's easier to justify your feelings related to your trial. BUT, when you lean on Jesus, surrender your feelings, fears, and future, He will humble you, prove you, and show you what is in your heart. And then you will be free to move on to the Promised Land, the place of prosperity that God has promised you.

He will not leave you in the wilderness to figure it out all on your own. Exodus 13:18 says that God was leading the children of Israel through the wilderness, and Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds us that God will never leave us or forsake us.

Quit wandering through your wilderness, wasting time on self pity. Let Him lead you away from the idols of this world that are holding you captive to the wilderness of your trial. Lean on your Beloved, Jesus, to teach you the lesson you must learn and move you on to the next chapter of your life.

I mentioned it in the last blog, and I think it's worth mentioning again: All through Exodus, God tells the children of Israel to have no other gods before Him. He wanted them to worship Him. I wonder what would have happened if they had worshiped Him alone through the wilderness.

Make it your goal to worship Him alone through the wilderness. Let me tell you this: Wilderness worship is powerful worship. It makes the enemy mad. It brings you great joy and peace. If you want joy and peace in your wilderness: worship!

Worship means to give God glory for things to come, things you can not see happening. Wilderness worship is powerful because you are completely trusting God and worshiping based on faith, not feelings. You are worshiping based on what you know God will do, not what you can see at the present moment.

So, when you are sick of the wilderness, you must first lean on Jesus. Let Him work on humbling your spirit, proving your mind, and purifying your heart. Then, and only then, can you offer wilderness worship! ...and watch the walls of Jericho fall!

A Dangerous Generation

My generation is dangerous. We have so many more easily accessible resources than what our parents had. We have education, jobs, and social support. If we need something, we google it and figure out how to get it. We have amazing churches where we can go to be filled and renewed in the Spirit.

Recently I watched a YouTube interview video by my pastor, who has been my pastor since I was 3 years old. Traffic Talk with Wayne Huntley

It is well worth your time to click on the link. Rev. Wayne Huntley is considered an elder now and has pegged our generation, as he perfectly states in that video. We are self-sufficient. We know our resources and access them when needed. We don't ever exhaust the natural resources to the point where we are dependent on a Supernatural intervention. We have robbed ourselves of an intimate walk with God, being led by the Holy Ghost on a daily basis, because we have made a life long commitment to Him and feel like that is enough.

Obviously, I am not speaking for the entire generation. If this is not you, then don't read on. But, if you can relate, please keep reading! I was raised in a home where Jesus was the answer. Mom and dad worked hard, but still fell short in providing and would pray for Jesus to intervene. One day, I vividly remember my mother praying for God to send us groceries and within hours, there was a knock at the door. A neighbor had gone to the store to find that many items were buy one, get one free, and she was a widow, living alone, so she gave us all the free items. As soon as that lady left, mom actually did a little dance thanking the Lord for answering her prayers. I saw my mom do that dance often.

When was the last time you were in a place where you had to depend on God to pull you through? You had completely exhausted the natural, and you needed a Supernatural intervention.

Here's the deal. You can't ever get to that place where you can rely on a Supernatural intervention, if you don't have an intimate walk with God. Rev Wayne Huntley explained how we need to be more dependent on the Holy Ghost and be led on a daily basis by what He wants us to do. We've become so comfortable in going to church multiple times during the week and filling up our spiritual tank, that we neglect to develop daily walk with God. We neglect to schedule time for Him on the days that are crazy busy. We neglect to diligently seek His will on every aspect of our lives.

The generation before us, our parents, wouldn't dare leave the house without having prayer and devotion. They wouldn't dare change jobs or buy a new house without seeking God's will. They wouldn't dare to get married or have children without asking for God's favor. Yet, here we are, we rush out on Monday morning neglecting to ask Him for direction for our day, because we are still full of the dose of the Holy Ghost from Sunday night. We neglect to praise Him for waking us up and providing for us.

In our finite minds, we feel that we are successful because we're able to pay our bills and buy groceries on a regular basis. Sure we live from paycheck to paycheck, but we're never in a place where our stomachs are growling and we're wondering how much longer the electricity will be on without paying the bill.

The truth is, it is God Who gave you that job. It is God Who gives you the health to go to work every day. It is God Who gives you favor with your boss and co-workers. It is God Who keeps your car from breaking down every 50 miles. It is God Who keeps you and your family safe while you travel around town. It is God Who puts the very breath in your lungs and wakes you up each day with a sound mind.

These are the things our parents realized. These are the reasons they fell on their knees every morning and worshiped the One True God. What you spend your time on, it what you are worshiping. All through the Old Testament, God was angered at the Children of Israel because they put other gods before Him. God does not change. How long will we go on putting other things before Him? How long will we go on spending more time on social media, than we do getting to know Him for Who He is? The God of our parents has not changed. He is longing for us to find Him and know Him the way that they did.

We can't be led by the Holy Ghost on a daily basis, if we don't get into His presence on a daily basis. You wouldn't ask someone you don't know for a favor, so how can you ask the King of kings for a Supernatural intervention, when you don't have an intimate relationship with Him?

Here's the thing about my mom's prayer...that wasn't the first time I heard her pray. She prayed like that every single day. That was the first time I heard her pray for something specific and watched it actually happen. She knew Who she was praying to because she didn't wait for a crisis to happen before she developed a daily prayer life. She met with the King of kings daily, and when she had a need, she knew exactly how to petition Him.

Don't wait until you get into crisis mode to find Him. Rise above the average walk with God that most of our generation has, and find an extraordinary place in Him. It is great that you are dedicated to attending church and signing up to help with every ministry possible, but that doesn't replace the intimate relationship He wants from you. Find that place in Him where you can depend on the Supernatural after you've exhausted the natural. Your faith will grow. Your spirit will soar. Your heart will be full and content. Why? Because walking with Him on an extraordinary level, is what we were created to do. Col 2:6.

This isn't just a blog. This isn't me just rambling about what I think we should consider for our lives. This is the Word of God and it does not change. God has proved Himself to me. God hears and answers our prayers, just as He did for our parents. A few years ago, I found myself in a place where I was in desperate need of a financial intervention. My gas bill was due (my heat/water heater is fueled by a gas line), and my groceries were almost gone. I truly had exhausted the natural and was completely dependent on the Supernatural. In my prayer time, I said, "God, You provided for my parents, and now I need You to intervene for me and my kids."

The very next day, a huge amount of money (enough to cover ALL my bills for a month) was accidentally deposited into my checking account. I called the bank, and they told me where it came from. I called that person, and they said it was a mistake but they felt like I needed the money, so I could keep it! I wish I could tell you that I got up and did that little dance my mom did when God answered her prayers, but I didn't...I just wept in humble adoration of the One who loves me so much. It was amazing that God cared so much about me that He provided more than what I needed.

James 4:8 says to draw near to God and He will draw near to you. He is waiting for you.

Put aside whatever you spend excessive amounts of time on, and schedule time with Him each day. Set an alert on your phone and don't turn it off until you talk to Him. Don't cancel your appointment with Him. When patients don't show up to an appointment at our office, they get charged a $25 fee. When you don't show up to your appointment with God, you are robbing yourself of blessings. Peace. Love. Joy. Abundance of life.

Escape this dangerous generation of being average and bust into the extraordinary Supernatural realm that the generation before us has discovered. If we don't, what will the next generation be like? The Supernatural may become extinct.

The Storm Is Over: Happy New Year!

It's been raining here for days. Persistent, heavy downpours of rain. Then tonight, New Year's Eve, it stopped. Not a drop. The clouds have parted, and the stars are peeking through. The physical storm is finally over. 

I'm not complaining about the rain. The rain is beautiful and reminds me of wonderful things. However, multiple days of rain is exhausting. You don't realize how exhausting, until it's over. I stepped out to take out the trash and didn't have to rush back in for fear of getting saturated. I walked to the mailbox without drenching my shoes in the nearby puddles that were sustained by a constant downpour. 

Oh, but there's a purpose to the storm. Rain storms change the environment providing suitable conditions for many types of ecosystems. Hydration for these ecosystems produces successful agriculture, rangeland, and human livelihood (food and agriculture organization, fao.org). James 5:18 says that the heaven gave rain and the earth bore it's fruit. So we need the rain, right? 

Spiritual storms are also exhausting. We overexert ourselves in prayer and fasting. We rack our brains to try to figure it all out, only to figure out that only God, in His infinite wisdom, has the knowledge and power to control the storm. While the spiritual storm is exhausting, it is necessary. It changes our spiritual ecosystems, providing suitable conditions for God to grow us and make us fruitful.

The 2015 storm is over. How do I know? Because 2015 is over. Don't go into 2016 fighting 2015's battles. Lay down your weapons and surrender to the One who speaks peace to our storms. Call out to Jesus in your storm, invite Him onto your tossing boat and let Him calm the raging seas in your life. 

Just as I'm glad this physical storm is now over, I'm going to praise Him that my spiritual storm is over. Leviticus 26:4 says that rain will cause an increase and fruitfulness. 2016 will be a year of fresh spiritual ecosystems with an environment rich and ready for harvest because of the 2015 rain!  

The storm is over- HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I Believe

My theme for the holidays came a little later than usual, but today I got my inspiration.

While on my morning run, I passed a little wooden bench with a small, evergreen wreath carefully attached. It was labeled with one sparkly, elegantly printed word: Believe.

As I continued, I thought about how nice it was for someone to place that wreath there to spread a little Christmas cheer. When I see the word "believe" at Christmas time, it's usually in reference to Santa Claus and Christmas magic. Which is fun and exciting, but nothing is farther from reality and when it's all said and done, it's really a let down. This year it hit me- Christmas is about believing. Not about believing in magic, but believing in miracles.

Christmas is truly about the most amazing miracle of all time. God wrapped Himself in flesh to save us from sin, so we could live eternally with Him. What a wonderful miracle!

So this Christmas I'm going to remind myself of this: Believe. Believe that the God who performed the miracle of Christmas is the same yesterday, today, and forever, just as Hebrews 13:8 reminds us.

I'm going to believe that Christmas is a reminder of the miracles to come. I believe that even now God is doing miracles that we cannot see. 2 Corinthians 4:18 reminds us to set our eyes on things that are not seen...I think that means believe! Believe that He is breaking chains. Believe that He is setting captives free. Believe that He is bringing prodigal sons and daughters home.

Luke 1:37 tells us nothing is impossible with God. Lots of us cling to that verse. Do you know that is the beginning of the Christmas miracle? That is the last thing the angel of the Lord told Mary. The angel told her about how she will be carrying this miraculous baby, and the last thing he said was: "for with God nothing shall be impossible."

Why would he need to make that statement to her? Because the foretelling of such a work of God was huge! It was unbelievable to her! He saw the questions in her eyes and cut her unbelief out of the picture. She was most likely thinking, "this is impossible." She even said at one point, "how can this be?" So his response is, "nothing is impossible with God."

Alone, on your own, it may be impossible. But you are not alone. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, God will never leave you, nor forsake you. And if you have Him, NOTHING is impossible!

It really doesn't matter what kind of miracle you need this holiday season. It doesn't matter how small or how great it is, you have to just believe. In Mark 9:23 Jesus, the Miracle of Christmas Himself, says, "If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth."

So this Christmas season, I say join me and BELIEVE! Believe in the true meaning of Christmas, but don't just believe in the miracle of Christmas, let Christmas remind you that miracles have happened, and still happen.

Don't believe in magic, believe in miracles! God's Word does not fail!

I believe!

My Day of Wondering

Have you ever found yourself in a place wondering, "how did I get here?" ... or wondering, "how do I get out of here?"

A few years ago I found myself in a place wondering, "how did I get here?" It was a desperate cry, a cry of despair. In my misery, I wondered how I ended up where I was. I felt like my life had turned out all wrong, but I had no idea how it happened or how to fix it. My helpless heart cried out to God while my foolish mind ran wildly trying to understand the mess. 

Thankfully, the Lord heard my heart and ignored my head. While my mind was busy trying to figure things out, the Lord was busy resuscitating my almost dead heart.  

Just today (years later), I found myself wondering the same thing: "how did I get here?" Only today, it was out of astonishment and awe. It was with abundant gratefulness that I wondered how I had been delivered from where I was and brought to where I am now. This place where I am now is full of life. Each day I find His love and peace surrounding me.

Don't get me wrong, I have not "arrived," by any means! However, when I have those moments when I feel not-so-happy, I refocus on what I have been delivered from and where I am going, instead of the pitiful woes of today. 

In a world overcome with negativity, I find great optimism in knowing that my steps are ordered of the Lord. Though my path is unknown to me, it is known to my Redeemer. Though I may not know what tomorrow holds, I trust in Him knowing that He fixed my yesterdays, so He can handle my tomorrows. 

A few years ago, some said that I had it all. The whole American dream was played out perfectly: luxury vehicle, large house, successful career, regular vacations, perfect little family... yet I was miserable. Why? Because I had ordered my own steps and in turn, had become lost. After losing it all and finding Him, I can honestly say, nothing in this world can fill the void that is meant to be filled by Jesus Christ. We were created to worship Him, and until we are worshiping Him in every aspect of our lives, we will be left wondering. Wondering why we are so empty when it seems like we have it all. Wondering how to get out of our mess. Wondering if there is any hope for our lifeless situation. Quit wondering and find Him. He is always waiting with open arms.

Make a List...Check It More Than Twice!

There's power in being thankful. When you are looking for things to be thankful for, you can't focus on negative things. Your focus is on the good. When I look back over the last few years of my life, I'm brought to tears in thankfulness.

I had to just sit down and make a list. I love lists. I live by lists. Apparently Santa does, too, but this list is one that I will check more than twice. I will read it over and over reminding myself of what God has done. Some of it may seem vague to you, but just know that He has done more for me than I could ever describe in a blog, even if I tried.

1. God delivered me. He yanked me out of my comfort zone, my life of complacency (why be average?), and pushed me into an uncomfortable, painful place forcing me to find Him, forcing me to rise above average, and find the Supernatural. Not the way I would have ordered that, but He knew what would work for me.

2. God healed me. He took me to a place where the pain was so great only a Divine intervention would answer the questions of my breaking heart. He completely healed my heart. Then He healed my mind. He spoke an indescribable peace to the raging thoughts in my head that had captured my life and crippled my walk with Him.

3. God forgave me. He went back to when I was 14 years old and washed away all the guilt and shame from then until now. No, I shouldn't have been harboring those feelings, but I did. I honestly didn't realize how strong they were, until He washed it all away. He covered me with His precious blood and gave me another chance. Now He remembers none of it (that part makes me shout!). He actually freed me from the old life and gave me a new one.

4. God loves me. God has shown me the depth of His love. He doesn't get tired of hearing me talk. He doesn't think I'm annoying. He comes to my rescue and holds me when I'm alone. I'm never lonely with Him by my side. His love NEVER stops. No matter how many times I mess up, He still loves me. When I think about how He loved me when I didn't really even know how to love Him, I'm amazed.

5. God wants me. He has a plan for me. Each day He reveals another step to that plan, and each day I'm in awe of His power. He doesn't just love me, He adores me, and I have a future in Him.

6. God changed me. He changed my thoughts, my moods, my words, my actions, and ultimately my whole life. He is moving in me. He isn't finished with me and is somehow, despite my failures, making me into what He wants me to be.

7. God blessed me. He has given me more than I could ever imagine!! I'm not referring to money or things. He has blessed me with friends, family, love, joy, and peace. He has given me a purpose and wonderful passion to pursue my dreams. He has opened my eyes to see what really matters in life. He has opened my eyes to see the needs of others and not be self-centered. He has changed my perspective on so many dimensions.

So there's my list. You know what the best thing about my list is? He will do all that for you! He loves you as much as He loves me! It's NEVER too late! You're NEVER too far gone. Just like the prodigal son, even if you come home smelling like a rotten pig and completely broke, your heavenly Father will run to you and give you another chance! Actually, I think Jesus likes it when we blow all that we have and come home to Him completely hopeless. It is then that He can get the glory for the Supernatural intervention, because it's obvious to others that we couldn't have saved ourselves. It had to be Him! So go make your list and check it more than twice! (;

Wanted, Not Wasted

I once heard a sermon about how everything you are going through is happening for a reason, "nothing will be wasted." The preacher pointed out how Moses was in the wilderness 40 years ALONE before he was in the wilderness 40 years with the children of Israel (Acts 7:30). Moses was raised in a palace. He knew nothing about the desert. If he had not messed up (murdered the Egyptian) and fled to the desert, he would have continued to live in that comfortable place, ignorant of God's perfect will for his life.

Sometimes we see our sins as weights, black marks on our lives. The truth is that God knows we are human, and we will mess up. In His awesomeness, if we let Him, He will use our mistakes, our sins, to bring us to where we need to be in Him. Once we repent, those sins are under the blood. The blood of Jesus not only covers those sins, but it redeems us, according to Ephesians 1:7. One definition of "redeem" is, "to make something that is bad into something better." The blood doesn't change the sin, it changes us. It makes us (something "bad," because we are flesh) into something better! How powerful is that?!

There's a song I love by Lauren Daigle called, "How Can It Be?" She sings, "You plead my cause. You right my wrongs. You break my chains. You overcome. You gave Your life to give me mine. You say that I am free. How can it be?"

If you allow yourself to truly believe in the power of the blood of Jesus, you will be amazed. You'll be in awe. It really leaves you wondering, "how can it be?" It breaks me down to think about how He not only loves me and saved me, but also redeemed me. It makes no sense how Someone so powerful would love me that much.

Nothing will be wasted. You, your sins, your trials, are not wasted. God is using them to show you something, to make you into something He needs you to be (James 1:2-4). It might be the change you need to reach your lost family. It might be the change you need to reach your neighborhood. Or, it might be the change you need to reach an entire nation! Whatever it is you are going through, let the blood of Jesus redeem you, let Him break your chains, and set you free, so that you can be what He wants you to be. You are not wasted. Your trials, your pain, your storm, is not wasted. You were called into this desert place because you are wanted. He wants you. You may feel like your life is wasted. That is a lie from the enemy. Rebuke those thoughts! You must allow Him to transform your thoughts, your mind. Romans 12:2 says that we must be transformed with a renewed mind... only then can we accomplish what His perfect will is for our lives.

Your life is just beginning. Step into His Grace. Let Him set you free and feel His love wanting you.

"You say that I am free. How can it be?" ...because I am wanted, not wasted.

There is nothing like the freedom you find in Him. When you are free from the past, you are open to what He has for you in the present. When you are open to Him in the present, you have a secure future. The enemy's only tactic is to remind you of yesterday, because He knows that you are covered with new mercy every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Now, look in the mirror and say, "Jesus has redeemed me. I am free. I am wanted, not wasted." Say it until you believe it, until it is stuck in your mind, because it's true! God's Word never fails.

Don't Grow Up Too Fast

Raising children is an unending complication of adulthood. There are many phases to parenthood. It starts out challenging your physical composition. How little sleep and how little food can you live off of and still survive? How long can you go on that way? The physical breakdown causes a mental breakdown. Can your mind function effectively without physical nourishment? Yes, I'm referring to having a new baby. It sounds fun to imagine, but when it actually happens, it is a harsh reality for which no book or lecture or class could ever prepare you.

And that's just the beginning of the challenge. The more they grow, the more they require from you, as a parent. The questions they ask get deeper and deeper. No, you won't be graded on your answers. However, your answers to their questions will guide the rest of their lives. No pressure, right? They have more physical and emotional needs. They require more time and attention. The sleepless nights and lack of nutrition are just the first phase of the process. 

Often we find ourselves in a spiritual battle or a rough trial, and pray for God to just get us through it. We can only see what is right in front of us. The big picture is that this trial prepares us for the next trial. The next trial changes us into something more like Him. It's a growing process. We don't get through the newborn phase and life is over. After the newborn phase, we go through the infant stage, the toddler stage, the preschool stage, and so on. We must go through each trial to get to the next phase spiritually. 

Moses was called out of his isolation in the wilderness to go set the people of Israel free from Egypt (Exodus 3). God did not give him all the details of how the process would work. Moses initially argued about speaking to Pharaoh. Really? We know the whole story. He should have been like, "how do I handle this crowd once I get them out of there and they go crazy on me?" Instead, he asks and argues about the little part he can see at that moment: How do I talk to Pharaoh?

Psalm 119:105 says, "your word is a lamp to guide my feet." You wouldn't need a lamp if it wasn't dark, right? In complete darkness, a lamp will only light the area right around your feet. It will not shatter all darkness, allowing you to see for miles ahead. So when you are in complete darkness, frustrated by the process of your trial, you MUST allow His Word to guide your feet, to guide the very step that you are in. Seek Him out, search His Word. Only then will He light your feet, so that you may continue on. Rarely does He show us where He is taking us. That is what builds our faith in Him. Allowing His Word to light each step (the part you can see) will lead you to where He wants you to be.

The problem is that we want to know and understand the whole process. If He told us the whole process, everything that we would go through, we would not be able to handle it with our human minds. Ephesians 3:20 says that He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think. His ways are so great that it's beyond what we can ask or even think!

If you had a book about parenting that told all that you would go through with raising a child, before you had children (and I'm sure there are some out there), you wouldn't believe it or you wouldn't believe that your child would do those things, or you'd think that you could handle it. You really cannot understand the gravity of parenthood until you are completely submerged in it. You go into parenting one step at a time. You can't birth a 5 year old well-behaved, potty trained, sleeping-through-the-night child! You get a newborn that must be nourished and loved. God knows right where we are. He is "parenting" us at the appropriate spiritual stage. He knows what we need to be disciplined so that we will grow in Him. He does this to us, because He loves us and wants us to draw closer to him. He won't put on us more than we can handle or more than we need to move on to the step in Him.

Not only have faith in Him, but have faith in His process. Trust His ways. Children trust their parents without question. Maybe because they are ignorant to the devices of this world, or maybe because they see their parents as superheros who can protect them from anything and everything. Either way, revert to that faith. Have faith that God, your heavenly Father, loves you and can protect you from anything and everything.

Just like growing up is a process, so is growing spiritually. Each step of the process you find yourself deeper and deeper in love with Him. Your prayers are no longer shallow; your heart is no longer empty. It doesn't happen over night, and He knows this. Through your trials He is growing you. Just like you would tell a child not to rush growing up, don't rush your trial! Thank God for it and seek His Word to understand what you are supposed to be learning from it. You will be more "grown" after this trial, and the next one will be even greater.

BUT, in the next trial, you will be more mature, and you will learn a different lesson. All I know is, this trial that I'm in now is not the first trial. It is much more difficult than the last trial I went through. However, I know God better than I did during that last trial. That makes it easier to trust Him for this one. Also, now that I'm able to see that the trials are never going to stop, and I'm supposed to learn something from each one, I'm trying to stop throwing prayer tantrums begging, "God please get me out of this trial," because I know that as soon as I get out of this one, another one is coming. He will pull you through each time, but only after you learn what you need to learn.

Just like you don't want your children to grow up too fast or you would tell a teenager to slow down and don't rush into adulthood, so I am telling you: Slow down and enjoy your trial. Look for the good, seek out the lesson, and let His Word light only your feet, right where you are. He knows what He is doing. Take one step at a time knowing that He is teaching you something, growing you spiritually, and you will come out a stronger, more mature Christian. 

Be Careful What You Pray For

First, let me just tell you all that I appreciate you continuing to hit up my blog site even though there hasn't been anything new on here lately. It's encouraging to see those numbers rise...I love y'all, too! (:

It's been a busy last few months with graduation and job hunting. God is good, and the doors are opening, so I'm praising Him for that! With that behind me, I thought I'd share some new thoughts.

I've always heard that you shouldn't pray for patience, because God will be sure to put you in a position where you will need to develop patience. So of course, I've never prayed for patience. I did, however, pray for other things that I'm now realizing were just as dangerous. Since you all are so diligent in reading all about my life lessons, I just have to tell you about these dangerous prayers.

You know I love the Christian artist, Natalie Grant. She has a song called, "Awaken" that I diligently listened to for years and sang it fervently. I've even prayed the lyrics, "Lord, I feel like I'm just existing, I'm not really living, I'm far from my destiny. Awaken my heart and soul. Awaken Your power in my life and take control. Give me a passion to live for You."

There was another song that I loved to sing and pray called, "Empty Me," by Chris Sligh. The lyrics were all too true for me, and I begged God to empty me of anything that is coming between me and Him. Remove the poisonous pride from my life. Pride is sinful and separates us from God (Psalm 10:4). First, I had to admit I was prideful, then I had to be willing to let it go.

Praying that He would "awaken" me, and show me how to get back to where I should be, involved admitting that I was prideful and wanting to change. I surrendered it all to Him. That fall that I referenced in my first blog, that was the fall of pride that Proverbs 16:18 warned me about. Then through fiery trials, He awakened my heart and soul. He powerfully intervened in my life and emptied me...of everything. And I mean, every thing.

In my brokenness, I began questioning God, "where are You? Why am I here? What did I do to deserve this mess?" And He powerfully answered, "you prayed for this." Oh wow. I did, didn't I?

When He multiplied the loaves and fishes, what did He do? He broke it first according to Matthew 14:19. Before there is fruitfulness, brokenness is a prerequisite (Refer to the fruitfulness blog for scriptures). It's during this breaking, painful process that we question living for God. Many people give up. They don't see that actually, they are closer to Him than when they were comfortable in their sin, comfortable in being around Him, but not really knowing Him.

We love the story of Jesus walking on the water and calming the storm for the frightened disciples, but look closer. In Mark 6:45 Jesus tells the disciples to get in the boat and go out into the sea. Jesus knows it all...He knew there would be a storm. They were in the perfect will of God and were in a storm. We think because we are in a storm, we are not in the will of God. NO! It's quite the opposite! It's in the storm that we learn Who God is. At the end of that story in Mark 6:52, it says that they had not really understood the miracle of the loaves and fishes. Jesus knew they were questioning Him in their hearts, and He used this personal miracle to show them He was God. According to Matthew 14:33, after Jesus calmed the storm, they worshiped Him and said, "truly you are the Son of God." Finally, they got it! ...after a huge, frightening storm.

Pray what you want to, but know that when you really truly surrender, your prayers will be answered, and it will not be the way you expect. I guess I just thought Jesus would come down and say, "I forgive you," and wave His miraculous hand over me and I would go on my way a brand new person. I NEVER thought it meant that I'd find myself where I am-- in a storm.

When you allow Him to take control, you get to know Him better. He reveals Himself in the storm. You draw closer to Him, He shows you His heart. He puts a burning passion in your heart for the things that He wants, like loving others and reaching the lost. You can't help but show compassion to those who are hurting and lost, in the church and outside the church. When you allow Him to "empty" you of what is in the way, and "awaken" you, your eyes become open to the critical spiritual needs flooding our environment.

It's not at all about your storm. It's about Who He is. He wants you to know Who He is...only then can we be about His business.

I'm so thankful that first of all, God revealed my sin to me. The sin of being lukewarm and complacent is so overlooked. Then He powerfully dealt with me to bring me back to Him. I just want you to know that if you pray for God to take control, and you really allow Him to work, it is a painful process. Being disciplined is always uncomfortable. Being broken is miserable. But think of the alternative: staying lost in sin, complacency, which is eternal damnation. Just being around Jesus isn't enough. You must truly dig in and know Him. Surrendering to Him and allowing Him to change my heart was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I know the reward is being able to worship my Savior, my Deliverer, my Redeemer for all eternity. And in the mean time, I'm riding out the storm and reaching for other who are hurting. Hold on. He is walking on the water to show you Who He is.