My Day of Wondering

Have you ever found yourself in a place wondering, "how did I get here?" ... or wondering, "how do I get out of here?"

A few years ago I found myself in a place wondering, "how did I get here?" It was a desperate cry, a cry of despair. In my misery, I wondered how I ended up where I was. I felt like my life had turned out all wrong, but I had no idea how it happened or how to fix it. My helpless heart cried out to God while my foolish mind ran wildly trying to understand the mess. 

Thankfully, the Lord heard my heart and ignored my head. While my mind was busy trying to figure things out, the Lord was busy resuscitating my almost dead heart.  

Just today (years later), I found myself wondering the same thing: "how did I get here?" Only today, it was out of astonishment and awe. It was with abundant gratefulness that I wondered how I had been delivered from where I was and brought to where I am now. This place where I am now is full of life. Each day I find His love and peace surrounding me.

Don't get me wrong, I have not "arrived," by any means! However, when I have those moments when I feel not-so-happy, I refocus on what I have been delivered from and where I am going, instead of the pitiful woes of today. 

In a world overcome with negativity, I find great optimism in knowing that my steps are ordered of the Lord. Though my path is unknown to me, it is known to my Redeemer. Though I may not know what tomorrow holds, I trust in Him knowing that He fixed my yesterdays, so He can handle my tomorrows. 

A few years ago, some said that I had it all. The whole American dream was played out perfectly: luxury vehicle, large house, successful career, regular vacations, perfect little family... yet I was miserable. Why? Because I had ordered my own steps and in turn, had become lost. After losing it all and finding Him, I can honestly say, nothing in this world can fill the void that is meant to be filled by Jesus Christ. We were created to worship Him, and until we are worshiping Him in every aspect of our lives, we will be left wondering. Wondering why we are so empty when it seems like we have it all. Wondering how to get out of our mess. Wondering if there is any hope for our lifeless situation. Quit wondering and find Him. He is always waiting with open arms.